Tuesday, January 29, 2008

McCain / Lieberman in '08!

While neither FOX nor CNN nor the Associated Press is willing to do so, I am now prepared to call the 2008 Florida Republican Primary and declare Sen. John McCain the winner there. As the vote totals come in his lead continues to increase over Mitt Romney and based on my research, I believe that John McCain will win the Florida primary.

Looks like Rudy Giuliani will finish a very disappointing third, his gamble of putting all of his chips in this state not having paid off. Look for him to exit the race, perhaps as early as tonight.

This now makes McCain the front-runner for the Republican nomination and it doesn't look like anyone can stop him, save perhaps the deep-pocketed Romney, but even that seems to be less and less likely with this big win swinging momentum in McCain's favor. Even I counted McCain out not too long ago, but it looks like his political resurrection is now complete. This is really nothing but good news for the Republican party and rather awful news for Democrats who would MUCH rather go up against Romney or Huckabee. But having McCain as the presumptive nominee has to have them sweating. I don't think they can beat him. While even some Republicans might not be comfortable with him, he really looks like someone who can truly work across party lines and get things done in Washington, something he's been doing his entire career.

John McCain, the 44th President of the United States. You heard it here first. I'll be back with more, perhaps later tonight. Or perhaps not.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Anyone for bowling? (see the movie and you'll get it)

I just got home a short while ago and while I really want to go to bed, I did feel somewhat inclined to post something on the blog I swore that I would be updating frequently and yet rarely do. I had a particularly miserable day (or night, whatever) today and was quite prepared to write about it, but now I'm too tired, too miserable and too drunk. I really am spiraling into oblivion here, struggling to keep my head above water and all sorts of other colorful metaphors. I have something like twelve weeks left of school and then I will have finally completed my woeful undergraduate degree in English (albeit from Canada's top University). As sad as that may be (at age 26) it's probably the only thing keeping me going, seeing as I'd feel so stupid to be so close and having four years and thousands of dollars go down the drain. Otherwise I would very likely not be getting out of bed at all and they'd have to commit me, which actually seems like a very pleasant thought right about now.

Anyways, I digress. Sorry for that tangent. I'm drunk, as usual.

I'll try to write about what I was intending to write about tomorrow (later today, whatever) but I can make no guarantees. If I did, there's just a very good chance I'd let you down, something I'm actually very good at doing.

For now, all I will say is that if you are reading this, do yourself a colossal favor and go see There Will Be Blood if it's playing at a theater near you. Like tomorrow or as soon as you can. If you're planning to go see something else (like Cloverfield or Meet the Spartans or some other crap) please go see this instead. I do not currently posses the faculties to do anything resembling a complete review, but the film is simple outstanding. I was looking forward to seeing it for a while and I was not disappointed. While I greatly enjoyed No Country For Old Men and it's a fine film, 'Blood' is nothing short of a masterpiece that throws all subtlety and restraint out the window. This is a huge epic in the grandest of Hollywood tradition, something that I haven't seen in a very long time. It starts off quietly and keeps climbing until it reaches its remarkable climax. Daniel Day-Lewis is un-fucking-real and as someone who has a fairly good grasp on film history from 1896 onward, I don't think that it's too much of a stretch to say that this may be the cinema's finest of all actors at his absolute peak. See this movie NOW.

Okay, that's it. God, I wish I had some coke. Just a little would do....no, I guess a little wouldn't ever be enough, would it? No. I guess I'm off to bed then. It's the only place I'm ever happy, even though I sleep there alone every single night (Bobo notwithstanding). I really don't know how much longer I can keep on...okay, I'm finished.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Yes, I do envy the dead

Pretty shocking is the death of actor Heath Ledger yesterday. Not one that you'd have seen coming and whoever had him in their death pool must have made off with a lot of points. He was only 28, an age that I'll reach in less than two years. It really fills my head with a great many thoughts and as usual none of them are positive.

Like I've already stated, Heath was only 28 and in his short life achieved more than I ever will. While I should feel bad for someone like him dying as young as he did, I really do envy him. Never mind the fact that he was an Academy Award nominated actor, about to appear in what's sure to be a smash-hit summer movie (the next Batman). Never mind that he was already a father. Or even the fact that he was surely banging hot women left and right. Michelle Williams at the very least, also Heather Graham and Naomi Watts most likely. I envy the fact that so many people were so saddened at his passing. I always wonder if anyone would care if I were to turn up dead tomorrow. It could very well happen, perhaps even in a similar fashion. I'm often careless with pills and alcohol in fact. Now I know that I wouldn't have throngs of people outside my home or people leaving flowers and such. I can certainly live with that. But I do have the suspicion that outside of family and perhaps a few other people, my funeral would be quite poorly attended. Usually when someone young passes away it's unexpected and often considered 'tragic'. Usually leads to a greater outpouring of general grief. Logic seems to dictate that the younger one is the more people attending your funeral (i.e. everyone you know is still alive etc). But I don't see that happening if I were to drop dead and that depresses me to no end. I don't see myself as having affected a lot of people' or anything like that. In fact I haven't accomplished jack shit.

No, I don't think the world would be any poorer at all for having lost me. I can't see any tributes, no matter how small they might be. Perhaps only "Here lies Kid Icarus, he never amounted to anything or really touched any lives. Good riddance". I can say with a pretty great degree of certainty that said epitaph would be pretty accurate. I could count on my hands the number of people who would miss me and though I do suppose quality counts over quantity I still have very little to boast about. It would be a very cheap funeral indeed.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Is beer my best friend? (next to Bobo)

Hey folks (who still read this) don't worry. I'm still alive, just been going through a bit of a rough patch. I've still been a little sick, not to mention the fact I've been morbidly depressed and rather drunk lately. I still hate my life and wish I was dead, but the fact that I'm a little tipsy helps somewhat.

Nice to see that John McCain won in South Carolina. He would really make a great U.S. President. American politics are fun to keep track of. Otherwise there really isn't anything good on TV.

There are a couple of good football games on tomorrow though. Glad that I have nothing else to do but kick back, drink some beer and watch the games. I'm really hoping for a Patriots-Packers Super Bowl. Would be really nice to see two truly deserving teams in the big game this year, plus have sort of an old vs. new thing going with Favre and Brady. Hope I don't jinx anything.

Saw my therapist on Friday. I don't know if it helped any. He's quite an intelligent fellow and I do value his advice but there are always things I forget to tell him, stuff I mean to say but I never seem to be able to get out. Stuff I should probably write down in advance etc. I also think he's too optimistic. Things aren't getting better, nor does there seem to be any chance of it happening. However when I was talking to him a few months ago about school and told him I was taking a Canadian Fiction course he was dead on about something. He said that while there are many 'good' Canadian writers, he never thought that any could be classified as being 'great' until he read Robertson Davies. When I read Tempest-tost I was almost in agreement and having just finished Fifth Business I can now say that he was right. I also never thought there were any 'great' Canadian writers but if you read Fifth Business and disagree with me (us?) I'll have to have a few words with you. I do remember him saying at the same time that there were no 'great' Canadian wines (we're both wine drinkers) but I was able to correct him when I brought up Ice Wine to which he conceded the fact that I was right.

I am very lonely. God am I lonely. But the strange thing is that even if someone were to call me right now (okay, not at this hour) I'd likely find some excuse to not do anything. As much as I hate it and as lonely as I am, I'd likely rather stay at home and drink. How sad is that? I think I've gotten to the point where I'm not able to leave the house, unless it be for work or school. That still doesn't mean that I wouldn't appreciate a call...but I never get one, so I suppose it's quite the moot point.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Going down hill fast!

If I may make a prediction, I think I'd have to say that I'm not going to make it through to the end of this year. I just don't see it happening. Pretty much every day things seem to be getting worse and I don't see that trend reversing. I mean I really am starting to seriously lose it.

It was a particularly long and grueling day yesterday. I left the house at about 9:00 AM and didn't get back until about 12 hours later. My day consisted of trying to desperately stay awake in classes in my feverish state and lots of walking around to the various parts of mammoth campus getting various things done that needed to be done. The weather had dipped back down to just above the freezing point after our lovely record highs. I wouldn't normally have minded, but my illness really didn't agree with it. When I finally returned to the (relative) comfort of my home, I decide to play some video games. It was a bad call. As I've said here before, I rather stink at them and it very often serves to really upset me. Failing countless times to pass a level on the easiest setting just seems to remind me of how I'm really not good at anything and don't have any discernable talents or skills. It brought me back to the conversation I had with my uncle on Sunday on career hunting. One piece of advice he gave me was to find things that I enjoy and look for things that are even remotely related. Theoretically it's good advice but I was crushed when I discovered there truly isn't anything I like to do. Every goddamned thing is a chore to me. The only things I seem to actually enjoy doing are watching TV and drinking. You know that even though I have a pretty good DVD collection, I seldom watch DVDs, choosing just to stick with the same crap that's on cable? The act of choosing a movie to watch is too much of an effort for me, as would be the act of have to stick to it for the next 2 hours. Sad.

So that pissed me off. Everything is doing so lately. I was never this irritable before, not in an 'angry' sense. I was depressed and miserable, yes. But now I'm losing my temper, a lot. I kicked a hole through a parcel out of anger today. I flipped out at a co-worker for something another co-worker had done. I've come thisclose to road rage three times in the past two days. But at other times it's just nerves and I'm biting my nails, even though there is nothing left to bite at all. If you saw my hands, you'd see what I mean. Or lying in bed last night I was seriously just thinking that I should give all this talk a rest, go off and hand myself and be done with it already, sooner rather than later. But then I fell asleep. At least I've been sleeping well lately, thanks to the Tylenol PM.

In all, I really do think I'm just barely hanging on and could snap at any time. I'm not even sure in what way. But nothing is helping right now, it is just getting worse and it will continue to get worse. I really think I'll be much happier when I'm dead.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I've been too political and not depressing enough lately!

Sorry about the lack of updates since Friday, I haven't (once again) quickly rescinded my vow that I'd be a more regular poster. I was busy this weekend with some little back-to-school readings, plus it was Orthodox Christmas (January 6th), plus I've been rather under the weather the last couple of days. I woke up this morning and it felt like I was on fire, seriously. But now I'm hacking my guts out, which is actually probably a good thing, that all the crap is working its way out of my system. I was hacking up some phlegm today and when I spit it on the ground, it actually bounced like a ball. Disgusting, huh?

Anyways tonight is the New Hampshire Primaries, which should be rather interesting. Despite what I said in the last post, it now does look like Hilary is seriously on the ropes. I was correct in calling John Kerry the winner in 2004 prior to the first caucuses and primaries, but looks like I was more on with that more difficult pick than I am here. As for the Republican side, I have no idea. It really does look quite wide open right now, what with Huckabee winning in Iowa and Romney and McCain being the front runners tonight. But Mayor Rudy still can't be counted out. We'll see how his strategy of putting all of his eggs into the Super Tuesday basket pans out.

It's also now seriously beginning to dawn on me that when I finish up my degree in April (God willing) I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do afterwards. I actually had this discussion with my aunts and uncles over the holiday this weekend and it left me so damned depressed. Right now I'm so clueless it's not funny. Like with everything in life, the prospect of looking for work terrifies me and I'm too scared to even get started on it. Having fear completely dictate how you live your life is a dreadful thing and even more so is the knowledge that you're powerless to change that. Probably not all people are, but I''m quite certain that I am. I've finally started looking at my school's career centre, which is something I should have done a very long time ago. At any rate if this is my best plan of attack, I'm likely screwed. There's a career week or whatever they call it coming up, but I don't think it will help any. If I do manage to drag myself there, it's not like I would have the courage to talk to anyone, ask questions, stuff like that. "Networking"(whatever that is) is quite possibly one of my greatest weaknesses and that's saying something. People so often find jobs thanks to the people they know. I don't know anyone. Once again, I am so screwed and it is no wonder I wake up every single day and wish I was dead.

There. I am now thoroughly miserable. I still have yet another class today (5-7 PM) plus the long commute (1:15 approx.) home. Without my sweet, fat, little dog to come home to, I truly would have nothing to look forward to. I know everyone has days when they feel like they can't go on, but having that feeling everyday? Sheer torture.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Yet Kucinich still has me beat. His wife is HOT.

A few (relatively) quick thoughts, mostly regarding last night's Iowa caucus.

1. This might completely be my imagination, but I swear that John Edwards' southern accent seems to come and go. Sometimes it's quite thick, other times it's almost non-existent. Personally I think he only puts it on to make himself seem more down-to-earth or whatever. It's not such a bad tactic, but he still needs some work with the voice coach.

2. If what I gather from watching this video is correct (and I believe it is) then if Mike Huckabee somehow becomes the Republican nominee for President, Chuck Norris is to be his running mate. Scary as this is, the video evidence does not lie.

3. Just like I said yesterday, New Hampshire could well be D-Day for either Romney or McCain, which is really sad because they're by far the two best candidates to be the next President of the United States.

4. I really hate Dennis Kucinich. What is this guy's fucking problem? He keeps running for President, wasting everyone's time and money. After dismal showings yesterday, several candidates had the decency to drop out of the race. They knew their campaigns weren't going anywhere. Yet everyone has known this about this crackpot from day-one and yet he persists. I can almost assure you that this freak will be back in 2012. You are NOT going to EVER be President. No one takes you seriously, whatever 'point' you're trying to make...well, no one cares. Get off this stupid ego-trip of yours and go home you fucking douche. Seriously, fuck off. ABC is smart enough to exclude you from their debate, yet you AGAIN waste people's time by filing a complaint against them. Get a grip on reality, jackass.

5. Totally unrelated is something very good which comes out of Facebook. In the case that I talked about yesterday, people are disregarding the 'law' and posting the identity of the people who brutally committed premeditated murder on a 14 year old girl. Finally something good is actually coming out of having every aspect of ones life available for all to see on the internet. Though Canada's criminal codes are so disgustingly lax in regards to prosecuting offenders of any kind, it seems as though it will soon be near impossible to 'protect' the identity of said violent offenders. I love how the article states that these scumbags might not have the right to a fair trial. Why? Because they're under 18 the public has no right to know who they are? Such utter horse-shit. I don't portend to be judge, jury and executioner, but if even a tad of what I've read about this case is true, it's quite open and shut. These little sacks of shit wantonly murdered this girl and deserve to fucking hang for it. I don't give a shit that they're under 18, they're trash. Once they come of age they'll magically be given a second chance and become repentant and all that? Please. This "Martha McKinnon" person (in the article) exemplifies exactly what's wrong with Canada's legal system. It's quite obvious she doesn't give a shit about justice and I just hope this starts the ball rolling against the liberal extremism which has hampered the rights of crime victims in our country for so long.

That's enough, I'm too angry to go on.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Back to (my) insanity

Not that I really care much seeing as I don't ever watch the show, but something struck me while reading this little blurb on the return of Elisabeth Hasselbeck to "The View". Why do they refer to her as 'the conservative co-host'? If Whoopi Goldberg returned from maternity leave (this is theoretical only) would it describe her as 'the liberal co-host'? I somehow doubt it. The article goes out of its way to make sure that everyone knows that Elisabeth is a conservative, at least in Hollywood terms. On the left coast anyone to the right of Bill Maher is a 'conservative'.

I am a little more invested on the return of late night TV seeing as I actually do sometimes watch Letterman, Leno et al. I really have no desire to get into the politics of the thing, but hopefully they resolve this soon. Of course most people are taking the side of the striking writers, but I don't really care much about their plight. What makes me sad is that my mother, proud viewer of such quality network fare as CSI, Criminal Minds and House M.D. has been reduced to watching figure skating on Telelatino. Very depressing.

Anyways, Letterman and Craig Ferguson returned with their writers in tow and probably fared a bit better than their NBC counterparts, though Leno (of whom I'm not really a huge fan) did give it his best go with self-written material. Conan O'Brien was just dreadful though, relying on lame tours of his office, his stupid dancing and seeing how long he could spin his wedding ring (!?) on his desk. How these guys continue to beat their far stronger CBS rivals is beyond me and perhaps the advantage of having the writers will make it even clearer as to who the stronger lineup is. I really did like Jimmy Kimmel's point though about the writers continuing to picket Leno and Conan pretty much sums up why I dislike unions.

If the projections are correct (and they usually are, save Florida 2000) it looks like Mike Huckabee will win the Iowa Republican caucus. I'm truly not thrilled here, as I've said time and time again that this guy is a disaster waiting to happen. He's one of those reactionist candidates who looks good in a primary (where one has to run to the extreme of the party) who wouldn't work at all in a general election where you have to run to the center. The Democrats had such a person in Howard Dean back in '04 but they were smart enough to realize that he wasn't even remotely electable beginning with Iowa. I know that it's still early and that the front runner (Giuliani) isn't even focusing any attention there. But now it's off to New Hampshire, where it's likely to be a fight between Mitt Romney and John McCain, the two best (in my opinion) candidates the GOP has to offer. I'm just hoping that they both don't come out of there battle weary leaving mayor Rudy and Huckabee in the best positions.

Over on the other side, interesting to see a very close three-way race between Hilary, John Edwards and Barack Obama with it looking like Obama will win Iowa. I still think that Hilary will get the nod, but I'd probably not place as much money on it now as I would have before. Still never seen where her appeal lies. She has a ton of baggage, is a total carpetbagger and is possibly the biggest black hole of charisma I've ever seen. Seriously, when she speaks she makes Al Gore look like...well, Bill Clinton. Of course I don't care so much with the Democrats, only that hopefully they're the ones who nominate a poor candidate as they've been wont to do in the past (i.e. McGovern, Mondale etc.).

The anti-smoking fascist have gotten struck in France. I suppose nothing is sacred anymore. When did the world stop being fun? If we knew it would come to this, we might as well have let the Nazis stay after the war. Very sad.

Sad is that the two people who killed this poor girl cannot be identified under the Youth Criminal Justice Act and will also probably be out of prison by the time they're 30. Every time something terrible like this happens part of me hopes that there will be enough outrage to start the ball rolling towards repealing the act. But I suppose it's too much to ask in Canada where our liberal sensibilities lead us to believe that criminals have more rights than victims.

Finally, after watching the Pats go a historic 16 and 0, I was dreading that fact that the game would be beaten in the ratings here in Canada by a meaningless mid-season hockey game between the hapless Toronto Maple Leafs and some other team (who cares) that wound up to be a blowout. But thanks to this news, my faith in Canadian sports fans is at least slightly restored.

Thanks for sticking with me folks through this long post and hope you'll all stick through me into 2008. But now I'm tired and I have to take the trash out and I think I might even enjoy a cigarette while I take Bobo out.

I survived New Year's eve (i.e. wasn't alone in garage, with car running)

Happy New Year to all the nice people who still read this. I was thinking of abandoning this blog (for the 481st time) but one of my resolutions will be to update it more often, so I've decided. We'll see if it takes hold. My other resolution (that I made on New Year's) was to be generally less pleasant and more of an asshole. I don't know how I came up with that one, but I think it has something to do with me being far too much of a pushover, too reticent and not assertive enough. Again, we'll see if it actually takes hold.

Went over to Beer's new place for his (apparently) annual New Year's soirée. Though he warned me beforehand that it likely wouldn't be all that 'happening', I really had no other viable options and in fact had as good a time as I could ever expect to have on New Year's (a dig against the holiday, not the party itself). It was more of a casual, low-key, 'sit down' affair, which suits me just fine. And though he warned me that there would be no single girls there (a side effect of being in a live-in relationship), his lady friend's cousins were pretty cute, I must say! The only real downside was that I didn't really drink (seeing as I had to drive) but other than that had a good time. My thanks go out to Beer once again and hopefully his promise of a standing invite will at least ensure that I don't have to spend New Year's alone in years to come.

Seeing as I haven't updated this in a week, I also have lots on my mind regarding the return of late night television, the Iowa Caucuses, the end of smoking in France and of course, football. Plus I'm trying to work on a 'Year in Review' sort of post, like I have in the past. But I'll save the former for later on today (yes, I'll go for two posts in a day) and the latter for perhaps tomorrow if I can finish it. Right now I have to pick up my dry cleaning.
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