Thursday, October 27, 2005

Golf is big in Japan

I may be having a minor blog-related freak-out, a la our good friend, Daphne. I know at least one person knows of it, that I'd rather not, maybe more. I'm very careful about who I give the address to these days, but that wasn't the case. I think I had it in my MSN name at one point. Not good. I gave it to one internet girl I didn't think I'd ever go out with and yet, I did. She read the blog, though it was before we went out, so it wasn't a major catastrophe, though it could have been. She promised never to read it again, but you never know. At any rate, the date wasn't one to call home about, so I guess it's not a huge problem. Still, there may be others that I've given it to or maybe carelessly posted a link to it somewhere. Who knows, maybe the one from a couple of weeks back that never called me back read it somehow. Just as likely, she wasn't in to me (the really pretty ones never are), but you never know. So I'm strongly considering a change of address, though I really am loath to do that. I really like this one and besides, everyone has it. We'll have to see.

Still having sex, which I suppose is nice. It was still by no means great, though the confined space surely hampered things this time, no doubt (you can guess where). On the upside, I did a lot more 'receiving' this time, which is always a plus. And yet, after it was over, the first thing that popped into my head was "how am I going to end this"? Having sex again is fine and dandy, but I'm just not really that into her. I guess nothing is ever good enough for me. I think I'd be happier with the cute girl who works at the hair salon next door or maybe that really cute red-head in my film class. I've talked to the former, not the latter. If I do get the chance, I think I will ask hair salon girl (HSG) out. I have some chance of success there, but not so much with film class girl (FCG). I don't even know how to approach her. Why am I so bad with women? Why is everyone else so much better than I? I wish I knew how to talk to them and make them like me. It's really that last part that's the hard one.

Finally, on a sad note (for me), our good friend Heavy D has left for good (well, a year, close enough) to teach in Japan. I'm sad for me, because I sure will miss the guy, but very happy for him. It's something he's been talking about for a long time, so I hope he has a blast! Still, now I don't know who I'm going to hang out with. I'm surely going to need a new drinking buddy / confidant / life coach. Bobo's only up to one of those tasks, so I'm taking applications now. Your interest in this position is greatly appreciated. If you have any hot, single, female friends, you shall be more strongly considered than others. If you are yourself a hot, single female, the position is yours.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Still Alive

Yes, I am still alive, oh (hopefully) loyal blog readers. I'm sure some people read this! I've just been very busy, sick, tired, gloomy and such, so I've gotten lazy with the posting. Things are looking a little less hectic now, so I shall start posting again soon. I might also have to make some changes to the ol' blog very shortly, we shall see. Not gonna post anything of note now, I'm tired and I'm off to bed. Soon my pretties, soon. To all who still check on a semi-regular basis, I love you all and God bless. *muah*

P.S. Here's a picture of me for all of your collections. Just because I felt like it.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I complain because I care

What a miserable weekend. It's my own damn fault, really. Here I am, swamped under a mountain of homework. Two essays to be done by Monday. How much have I done? Next to nothing. At the beginning of this school year, I promised myself I wouldn't leave all this shit until last minute. I lied. So there goes my weekend. Could have had two potential dates lined up, but I really don't have the time...moron. I could easily knock all this stuff off if I just put my mind to it. But I just can't focus. Never have been able to, never will. Sad.

The girl I went out with last Saturday still hasn't gotten back to me. Things aren't looking good. I thought the date went quite well. I've certainly had first dates with more impact, but as far as they go, I'd rate this one a very solid 7. The conversation was solid and there wasn't any awkwardness, so far as I could tell. I said I'd like to see her again, she certainly seemed okay with that. Sent her a text message on Monday and one yesterday. No reply. Do I call or email? Do I wait? I'd love to know what went wrong. I really like this one and what's more, I was completely positive around her and with myself. I managed to keep the self-deprecation in check almost entirely, something which I'm usually bad with. I was just myself and thought I did really well. I approached the whole thing in a very upbeat manner. She seemed reasonably into me. And still, nothing works out. What do I keep doing wrong?

I guess I have sex girl as a backup, as bad as that sounds. Yeah, we slept together, but I'm just not into her. The conversation isn't that great, the sex was mediocre and I'm not really THAT attracted to her. It's like I'm settling here. I hate having to do that. Other than that...well, there's other internet girls, I guess. I'm getting sick of this whole internet thing. There must be another way to meet women...I mean, this seems to work reasonably well for me (better that anything else, at any rate), but I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut with it. There is a cute girl who works at the hair salon next door, I might consider asking out. She seems very nice and I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. I have to find a good time to try and ask her out. Maybe if I see her head out for a cigarette, I might head out for one myself. And then what do I say? I can't remember the last time I successfully asked out a girl who wasn't at the other end of a computer screen. Oh Hitch, where are you when I need you?

On the upside, my hair looks great today. However, I have nowhere to go. Go figure.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I feel sick

Really, I do. I went to bed at around 2:00 last night and didn't wake up until 1:00 PM. I had to force myself do even do that. I think I may be coming down with something. I do not need this right now...

First assignment which was due today (now due Friday, sweet!) and I still haven't even read the book. I am so screwed. Really, there is something wrong with me. I mean, it's only 750 words and it's a Shakespeare play, so it shouldn't take that long to read. Yet, here I am, still having accomplished nothing. Then another is due on Monday and one on Tuesday. Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with me? As soon as I finish this blog entry, I'm getting started, honest. I hope. I just hate school so very much...

Saw Paul McCartney at the ACC on Monday night. Went with my mom and sister (it was our Mother's Day present to her) and had a fun time. I must say, for a 63 year old guy, he's still got it. The show was almost 3 hours long and he covered everything, from the earliest Beatles hits to his Wings stuff to his craptacular new songs. 20,000 people all singing along to Hey Jude is quite a special feeling. There were tons of other highlights, I couldn't even try and get into all of them. Seeing Mull of Kintyre performed was very cool, I never expected to hear that one (accompanied by a local Pipe Band). Really, a super show.

I think I'm going to go take a shower now. Might make me feel better...Man, I really hope that girl I went out with on Saturday texts / emails / calls me back...No, this is not the one I slept with. This is the one I think I like better actually. I sent her a text message on Monday night ("Hey, had a great time, hope to see you soon" etc.) and have gotten no reply...I thought she had a good time. She said she did. I know I worry far too much, but why do I have a bad feeling here? Then again, I always have a bad feeling...I hope I hear from her.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

I don't know what to do now...

First off, school is not going well...I have my first assignment due on Wednesday, haven't read the book, haven't started or anything. It's only 750 words on a Shakespeare play, so it's not a huge deal, but still. I promised myself I wouldn't get into this last minute habit. I wanted to have this sucker done at least a few days in advance...dang it, this is not a good start. I worry for my future. Oh well. Onto more important things.

Friday consisted of going downtown with Heavy D, Bertmos and Beer. Beer's brother was spinning at a club. Good to see him doing well! Went to The Dance Cave afterwards to meet Heavy D's very hot friend...who has a dude, plus, as far as I know, hates me. Supposedly, I stared at her chest when I first met her. She has a nice chest! It really couldn't be helped. At least she was nice to me yesterday...maybe this is a positive start? I have no idea.

Last night had a date...yet another internet girl. This one lives in Newmarket, about a 45 minute drive...I know, still too far. However, she really is the best looking one yet. Very pretty and great to talk to. She's actually better looking in person than she is in pictures or webcam. Plus, I'm the first internet date she's ever been on, which makes me feel special. Went out to dinner, then grabbed a cup of coffee. Things went quite well I think. Hope to see her again, real soon.

Got home around 12:30, was going to check my email and go to bed. Start chatting with the girl I saw Flight Plan with the other week (the one I thought was quiet). Asked her what she was up to. She said she was just sitting at home alone, the rest of the family had gone away for the weekend. I half-jokingly ask if I can come over. She says 'sure'. I do. Was this an invitation for sex?

It sure was. My long drought is over. It was....well, okay I guess. Maybe I'm badly out of practice, maybe she's no good, I have no clue. I remember better things...who knows? Really, I liked the cuddling better...maybe that's just me. So the thing I've been missing for so long has finally happened again...and still I'm not happy. What does this mean? I have to call her again now and soon. She seems nice I guess....but I don't know if I want a relationship here...does a few sessions of mediocre sex mean a relationship? Oh heavens, what do I do know?I thought I wanted sex and now it's left me with nothing but a headache (not to mention the rest of my body...I need to get in shape).

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


I really haven't anything exciting to post about, but today is Wednesday, the day of my 5 hour break in between classes. I have NOTHING to do from 12-5...dang, this is boring. I really wish I had some friends here. I could try talking to random people I suppose (I did last week), but it's just not that easy. Man, it scares me. Oh well. Eating, smoking a cigar (while the weather is good) and perhaps getting a little bit of reading done, that is if I'm not too distracted by the pretty birdies. Oh yeah, not to mention mindlessly surfing the internet in the library. Good times indeed. Maybe someone will start talking to me? Hasn't ever happened yet, but you never know?

Had film screening, then British Writers at 5:00. It's only the first week of October, but I am really feeling the crunch. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I've done almost zero reading (stupid birds), so it really is my own fault. Also, I think I might hate all my classes. My English classes are dull, my film classes are pointless and my U.S. Politics course is...actually quite fun. I like it a lot, so far. I know a lot of the material already, so I feel smart there. At least I like one course (my elective, go figure). Well okay, I do look forward to film theory, but that's only because my prof is HOT. I mean....dang. Sorry, enough of that...oh my, there's a REALLY hot girl waiting in line for the computer...she just walked by. I wish I had the guts to talk to her.

What weekend coming up, which is very sweet. Hopefully have a date on Saturday (yes, through the internet). Also...shoot! Another very hot girl...this place is just crawling with them. If only there was some way to communicate with them, I'd be set.

Another four and a half hours to go....bleh.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

More mild complaining

Three weeks in and I'm already falling dangerously behind in my readings for school. Instead of posting on this silly blog, I really should get on that. But it's such a nice day, plus football is on......*sigh*.

My weekend was...well, interesting. After my previous plans (see last few posts) fell through in a big way, I managed to at least find some shit to do. Thursday, went to Failte's with Heavy-D. Just there for a few drinks, but some women did sit down at our table (to smoke, I think). One of them was rather attractive and even though I don't think she was too into me, it was nice to see that happen. Some dudes one of them knew encroached on our space and we left shortly thereafter, but I'm hopeful now, that I can master (well, at least be comfortable with) the bar scene. People do pick up other people at bars, I know that with a little more practice, I can do it too. That sad thing is, I won't have anyone to do it with. Heavy-D leaves in a month. This will leave me with few options when it comes to hitting up the bars. I'm really not comfortable just going by myself. Sorry, I don't care what anyone says, you go to a bar by yourself and try to pick up women, you are a bit of a loser. Marty Boy is busy all the time, Bertmos never wants to go out and other folks live far away. I need new male How on earth do I find some? I mean, how do you 'pick up' guys? All the friends I've been making lately have been women. This is fine and good, but I hate to say it, I need men. Any suggestions?

Friday, I had a date. Yeah, another internet girl. She was pretty cute I guess, but I don't think I'll be seeing her again, at least not in 'that' capacity. Really very quiet and a little boring. Someone I'd be okay being friends with, but there was no connection otherwise. Went for coffee and saw Flight Plan. It was okay for the first hour, but then disintegrated after that. Still, good to see Jodie Foster making movies again. And at least I didn't spend a fortune on this date.

Last night, went over to a new friend's place (yes, internet as well) to watch a movie. She was sick, so I came over to keep her company. Brought pizza and we watched Million Dollar Baby. It would have been nice, had not her FATHER watched the whole thing with us...oh, why me? I might have been able to at least see where I stood with this one had he not been there (to cuddle or not to cuddle?), but hey. This is me, remember? Since when does anything ever go my way?
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