Ah, how some people really hate democracy

Very tragic is the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. I was very sad to hear the news, but really not so shocked. Someone so devoted to bringing peace and freedom to Pakistan, someone with legitimate influence and credibility, a someone who could have been a true force in bringing about a true democracy in the country? I knew it was too good to be true, too good to last. The extremist element in Pakistan obviously wanted nothing to do with her, knowing that she was someone who had the potential to unite the country and return true democracy and civility to the land. I just hope that her death inspires others to continue her cause and while this is certainly a huge blow, hopefully it won't be a permanent setback on the road to peace in the region. I also love how the usual gang of left-wing radicals and anti-Americans (usually the same crowd) are blaming the United States and George Bush for her death. Granted the Bush administration did facilitate her return to Pakistan and they’re probably too trusting of Musharraf (and his ability to provide security for Mrs. Bhutto), but to say that because they did so they're responsible for her death? Sickening. I shouldn't take it too seriously as these people blame George Bush for everything from their gambling problems to losing their hair, but at the same time they're doing a huge disservice to Ms. Bhutto's memory. By implying that she was in some way forced back into this situation removes her of all agency and really spits in her face. She was well aware of the risks facing her upon her return and talked about them constantly. Yet she chose to stay and fight the good fight. She knew what she was doing. But in their mad dash to blame George Bush for every bad thing that happens in the world, too many people lose sight of that fact. She died because she wanted to do what was best for her country and some seriously bad people couldn't stand for that, not because America somehow pushed her into it.

I am however glad that the NFL came to their senses regarding Saturday's potentially historic match-up between the Pats and Giants, which sees New England looking to go an incredible 16 and 0. What with the fact that game is going to be on NBC and CBS, combined with the lack of anything else on (this or any other night, thanks to the writer's strike) I wonder just how many people will tune into this game. It could very well be a LOT. Good that the league did what was right in making sure that pretty much any fan with a TV will now have access to the game. It never affected me, seeing it was to be broadcast here in Canada on TSN, but still. That it took congress to get this done is sort of amusing. I told this to my dad yesterday (yes, we do speak sometimes) and he thought that it was ridiculous that they focus on stuff like this, in light of more important events (see previous paragraph for instance). But hey, if they can at least have bi-partisan support somewhere and at least get SOMETHING done, I suppose it can't be all bad. Anyways, go Pats!

I can't stop biting my nails. I'm typing this while at work and I'm back to having nothing to do but kill time. This is really bad. My nerves are starting to act up again. I was considering going out tonight, but I'm not feeling well enough to do so. I'm also pretty tired. My inability to stay awake for more than a few hours at a stretch can't be a good thing. I'm ALWAYS tired. No matter what time I go to sleep and no matter how long I sleep for, I hit a wall at some point and just can't keep my eyes open. So I take a nap, because I can no longer stay on my feet. The nap then rages out of control (half an hour becomes two hours) and then I can't sleep at night unless I take a sleeping pill. And so on. It's brutal.

So is this. Time is passing quite slowly here. I've been here for only two and half hours, yet it seems like an eternity. It's giving me time to think, which is never, ever a good thing. Plus I'm starting to get nervous and anxious. I'd take a valium, but that would just make me drowsy. So I shall suffer for another three and a half hours (!!) until I can get out of here, go home and drink. Perhaps play some video games, which I do to kill the time, but only serves to make me miserable after a while (like everything does). Why do they make me miserable? Because I stink at them, like I seem to with everything. Not being good at anything can be very frustrating. So I drink. I really do think that besides Bobo, it's the only thing that makes me happy.

So lazy I can't even wish a Merry Christmas on time

A belated Merry Christmas to all my beloved blog friends. Once again, I have no excuse for not even taking a few minutes out to wish you all the best yesterday, but owing to my mercurial nature, I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday or the day before. I was barely even able to compose my yearly Christmas email in fact, something I actually look forward to doing. Hopefully many of you reading this received it, though it just occurred to me that I forgot to send it to at least one person I just ran into at Chapters, having not seen them for many years, though she is a faithful reader. Sorry Monica, you totally slipped my mind and I feel really bad. I owe you a drink for sure now that you're back in Canada. By the way, she and her husband are an adorable couple if I may say so. You guys are going to have very attractive children.

As usual I have many bottled up thoughts that I want to write about or otherwise get off my chest. They will (as usual) have to wait, seeing as I'm currently enjoying my Christmas gift to myself, a nice bottle of Johnnie Walker Black, complete with 2 collectible scotch glasses. Yum. For now, I will leave you all with this brilliant piece, which pretty much sums up my own wishes for the holidays. Enjoy.

Mitt Romney: Superhunk

I know, I know. No excuses. Though I did have one last exam (yesterday) to study for, I still had plenty of time to update this. As usual, I've just been too miserable. For now I have to shower and get ready for work, but here's a few little points of interest. I'll try to come up with a better post later tonight or perhaps tomorrow.

I'm surprised that more coverage hasn't been given to the ONE solitary player who voluntarily cooperated with George Mitchell's drug investigation. I find it pretty disgusting. While I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of players did not take performance enhancing drugs, no one would speak about it for fear of being labeled as a rat or scab or whatever you call it. It's a pretty sad mentality, one that I partly blame the Player's Association for. The union is probably more to blame than anyone else in this whole mess and by and large the reason that baseball is so fucked up. The MLBPA is infinitely more powerful than any other sport's union in the world and I've never liked the negative influence they have on the sport. Still they're not entirely to blame. These are big boys and it's unreal that none of them seem to man up if they have taken whatever substance or on the flip side offering up what they know if they haven't. Oh and that one player? Toronto Blue Jays D.H. Frank Thomas. A lot of people have said a lot of things about him over the years, but no one can ever say that he was a cheater. Here's hoping Big Frank winds up in Cooperstown like he deserves.

By no means am I advocating smoking in a car when there's a child in the vehicle. Hell, if there's anyone else in the car at the same time, I wouldn't do it unless they assured me they were fine with it. I should hope that other people would have the same decency and consideration. But when things like this start happening, we're being led down quite the slippery slope indeed. I actually don't even smoke anymore, if you discount social situations, stressful times or cigars. But I really do hate each and every anti-smoking person out there. They are fascists plain and simple and I mean that in the most serious sense.

And I just find the title of this article to be hilarious. Fidel, you've been clinging to office since 1959! I don't think another year or two will make much of a difference at this point. Your country is a fucking dump (unless you're a tourist) and most of it is thanks to you! Thankfully he looks just awful and it can't be too much longer. But perhaps he'll leave Cuba to Hugo Chavez in his will or Chavez will just try to annex it after Castro kicks it. Yes socialism is really great and works oh-so-well.

Finally, this just looks right. Granted the National Review (an excellent publication) didn't endorse him based on looks, but they could have and I'd have been convinced. I'm still not decided on who would make the best President, but Mitt might just be the man.

I suppose I'm updating this more now because I have so very little to do except drink

Oh, good. New Jersey is the first state in 40 years to outlaw the death penalty. Thank God, because now they won't execute that guy who killed a seven year old girl back in 1994. Sorry but this should be heading way in the other direction. Even in liberal Canada there are rumblings of reexamining capital punishment. Lord I hope so.

This couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. So awesome to see Roger Clemens at the forefront of the Mitchell Report. Hope this wipes out his 354 career wins, just like I hope it wipes out Barry Bonds' 762 career home runs. And more than that, I hope it wipes out the ludicrous notion that people hate Barry Bonds and are out to 'get him' simply because he's black. No, the reason I hate both of these guys is because they're self-centered, egotistical douche-bags without a classy bone in their bodies. And now it's quite clear to all but the dimmest of individuals that they're both filthy cheaters and deserve to be spit on, not cheered. But don't worry, I'm sure the same idiots who continue support Michael Vick will continue to cheer on these fucks.

Finally, I knew that she would trip up sooner or later. But now we've got her! Jodie Foster was one of the biggies we've been waiting to expose and now we can move on to Anderson Cooper, Kevin Spacey, et al. We the public need to know which of our celebrities are gay and which are not. They owe it to us. Remember, we own them and every last aspect of their lives must be made known to us! They can have no secrets. Otherwise this means that we have to go back to living our own depressing lives and for some of us that's just not tolerable.

A couple of things that made me sick today, besides my non-stop drinking

This is a photo of people who actually showed up to support Michael Vick yesterday at his sentencing yesterday. When I saw this, I almost threw up, no joke. These people make me just as sick as he does. If this were my hearing (or for any of Vick's non-famous buddies for that matter) the only people lurking outside would be those ready to spit on me and rightfully so. I actually did for a second think that maybe this guy was sorry, but it's obviously not the case and any halfway rational person can see that. These people are absolute filth and the fact that they think he's some sort of hero or victim or something....disgusting. They should be rounded up, shot and chopped up into dog food. I'm not joking. These people are a waste of space. Fucking sick.

Another story which made me sick was this one. It's quite close to home, in fact I know several people who attended this high school and it was right around the corner from where I went. Can't really say that it shocks me too much, though it does infuriate me. Seems that people just don't get it, that in this country you're allowed to wear whatever the hell you want and that women are not second class citizens. If you want to force your wives and daughters to do, wear, say and think what you tell them to, move to Saudi Arabia. But that isn't how things work here. Very sad. Even worse, I've been watching some news coverage of it and the liberal media is questioning whether or not we as Canadians are the ones to blame for not being accepting enough of other cultures and discriminating against women who wear hijabs! Unreal. Way to totally miss the point here. The Canadian public didn't kill this poor girl. Her insane fundamentalist father, adhering to the strict guidelines set forth by the 'Religion of Peace', did.

But seriously I don't know if this is a cultural or religious thing and I don't really care. This isn't the fucking dark ages anymore and if people don't get that, they don't belong in a progressive and tolerant society. This has nothing to do with 'culture' or 'religion' but everything to do with simple human rights. Sickening.

If I were a football team, I'd be the 2007 Dolphins

Firstly, I am a colossal retard. In my previous post on the ten greatest Cold War songs, I totally and completely neglected a song which is absolutely number one, no question in my mind about it (sorry Daphne). How I somehow missed "Heroes" by David Bowie is completely beyond me. It's easily the best song ever written about the Cold War and that it didn't even make my list at all is inexcusable. But also shame on everyone else for having missed it. On another note, I was talking about my list with someone the other day and they suggested "Der Kommissar" by either Falco or ATF. As a song on it's own it would definitely make my list, except for the fact that it's about drugs and not the Cold War (read the lyrics closely). In this case though, unlike 99 Red Balloons, I actually think the English language remake is better than the original.

So I spent my day today watching football (what a shock). Glad the Pats are back to winning in their usual style. The Giants pulled out a win and will easily make the playoffs as the number 5 seed in the NFC. I'm amazed this team keeps on winning somehow, despite the fact that as time goes on it becomes more and more evident that Eli Manning totally sucks balls. This has to be the luckiest 9-4 team I've seen in ages.

I am pissed off at the fact that the poor Detroit Lions couldn't hang on to beat the Cowboys (not a favorite team of mine) but even more pissed off that at 4:00 PM the CTV affiliate that I was watching the game on switched over from this very close match-up to go to the Bills-Dolphins game which was a total route by that point! I flipped around to see if it was on any other CTV station or perhaps on a CBS one, but none were available to me. Needless to say I wasn't impressed and fully believe that if I had been able to watch the closing minutes, my viewing would have made an impact on the outcome of the game. But seriously, I wasn't thrilled. If this had happened to any hockey game (i.e. Atlanta Thrashers vs. Columbus whatever) scores of hockey mad Canadians would have been outraged. But God forbid it should happen to a real sport. I don't know where I'm going with this, I just like taking shots at hockey whenever I can, a game I enjoy less and less each passing day.

Saw a movie yesterday, in fact the first time I've been to the movies since perhaps February or March. Yes, I didn't see a single film in theaters this summer. How sad is that? At least Transformers and Live Free or Die Hard et al. are on DVD now, so I can rent them when I have some time to focus, post exams. Anyways, I'm too tired and drunk to review it, but do go see No Country For Old Men if you have a strong stomach. The film is outstanding and actually an edge-of-your-seat thriller. The cast is great, especially Javier Bardem as the psychotic Anton Chigurgh, the greatest screen villain since Hans Gruber. If this isn't Best Supporting Actor Oscar worthy performance, I don't know what is. I'm not a betting man, but I'd sure put money on it.

Okay, I'm starting to feel somewhat ill and I should probably be off to bed. Exam tomorrow and amount of studying done? Zero! Guess I'll get it done tomorrow. God I feel like hell. Just once I'd like to go to bed feeling good.

I miss the Cold War (not that I remember it)

So as I was researching and attempting to complete my Cold War essay last week (the one I'm likely to fail), one of my many Wikipedia digressions led me to the entry on Popular Culture During the Cold War (or some shit like that). The page is woefully barren, sad to say and if I had the inclination I'd spruce it up some, like I could probably do with dozens of Wikipedia entries.

Anyways, it got me to thinking as to what some good Cold War songs are and without further adieu I shall present my totally subjective list of the Top Ten Cold War Songs.

10. David Hasselhoff - Looking For Freedom. The song that was played as the Berlin Wall fell and it always seems to be associated with that event. It was a big hit in Germany (for some reason) but rightfully not anywhere else, so far as I know. I'm only putting it on the list because I pretty much feel obligated to do so. I feel like I've wasted an entry.

9. The Ramones - My Brain is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes to Bitburg). The reason that "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg" is only the song's subtitle is because Johnny Ramone was actually a staunch right-wing Republican and in fact idolized Ronald Reagan. Upon his induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he ended his speech by remarking "God bless President Bush and God bless America". Any wonder he's my favourite punk rocker?

8. Scorpions - Wind of Change. Yes, they may be guilty of having the most tasteless album cover of all-time, but it's hard to go wrong with this rather lovely track. And for a bunch of German metal heads, the lyrics are actually not totally mindless!

7. Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now. A MUCH better song chronicling the end of the Cold War by these one-hit wonders with a pretty good band name. Why didn't they play this far better (and more appropriate) track when the Wall came down instead of that awful Hasselhoff thing?

6. Barry McGuire - Eve of Destruction. Another one-hit wonder. This guy hit number one with this classic protest song in 1965 and never touched the top 40 again. A great sort of mid-1960s doomsday parable, summing up all the fears at the time and shit. Bonus points for being the only song to ever work the word "coagulating' into its lyrics...and rhyming it!

5. Sting - Russians. Mr. Sumner hopes that "the Russians love their children too" but guess what? They don't. They're godless and evil. He may not subscribe to Mr. Reagan's point of view, but should still know that them commies would have sold their own kids out to the state if given half the chance.

4. The Beatles - Back in the U.S.S.R. Really only a Cold War song in the loosest sense, it's really just a pretty clever Beach Boys send up. And maybe those Ukraine girls do leave the West behind, but we'll never know, because we're not allowed in! Which leads me to...

3. Elton John - Nikita. Poor Elton falls in love with a guard on the dismal side of the Iron Curtain, but thanks to stupid politics, they can never be together. In the video it's a she, but I'm pretty sure that Nikita is a man's name in Russian (i.e. Nikita Khrushchev). This was also from that fuzzy period when Elton wasn't really flamboyant anymore, but not officially gay.

2. Neil Young - Rockin' in the Free World. Written by another of Reagan's admirers, which will probably surprise many given his intense dislike of the current Republican administration. But no, Neil was greatly distressed at the fact that so many of the kids in the East never really got the chance to experience the greatness of Rock and Roll like we did. At least that's my interpretation.

1. Nena - 99 Luftballons. Given that the song is in German, I'm not actually sure what it's about, but I've been told that it has something to do with the Cold War and the arms race, fear of mutual destruction, that sort of thing. And the song rocks. Okay, so I went and read the English lyrics. And yeah, it works pretty well and the song is great, Captain Kirk reference and all.

I had a few others shortlisted that didn't quite make the cut either because I didn't like them as much or they didn't have as much relevance to the topic. But let me know if there are any you can think of that I've forgotten, so I can put my Cold War compilation CD together ASAP and have it blasting on my car stereo!

****************************UPDATE***********************************

I am a total dumbass and my list is unbelievably faulty. Somehow I totally missed David Bowie's "Heroes" which should actually be number one. Yes, I somehow totally forgot about this awesome song that is actually probably the best Cold War song ever. I really am an idiot and have no idea how I just plain overlooked it. So move everything down a notch and forget that the awful Hasselhoff song was even mentioned.

How long will it take until I'm locked up in the nut-house? Let's start taking bets!

Hey, sorry about that last depressing post. Despite the blog's name, I'm pretty sure that no one really likes the depressing posts that much. I still wish I was dead (more than ever) but I'll try to mix it up somewhat, alternate from depressing to amusing to controversial to... well in this case, insane.

I for one have no problem with FOX News refusing to air an ad featuring American traitor and Hugo Chavez butt-boy Danny Glover. I love all these assholes who think that the United States is so evil, yet Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro are these paragons of freedom and virtue. Yes, I'm quite aware that many people really don't like George W. Bush. That's cool. As I've pointed out, he will no longer be President as of January 2009! If Mr. Chavez had his way (and thankfully he did not, at least until he scales back democracy even further in Venezuela) he would be President for life! With the right to make all the laws he wants, throw anyone and everyone in jail, totally control the media and dispose of any sort of judiciary. Awesome! Why don't people seem to get that this guy is a truly bad dude? Go and fucking live in Venezuela, in the slums of Caracas Mr. Glover and see just how much Chavez is doing for the poor that he champions so much. Take Sean Penn and Harry Belafonte with you. I'd have Danny Glover executed for treason if it were up to me, but it's not (which is probably a good thing).

The only Oscar awarded to the greatest film of all-time and to the greatest Hollywood talent of all-time is up for auction. I just hope that Stephen Spielberg doesn't buy it. He has this habit of buying old Oscars and donating them back to the Academy. That seems like a nice thing, but it's not. You see, the fascist Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences makes winners sign this waiver that doesn't allow them to sell an Oscar before offering it to the Academy first for ONE DOLLAR. What assholes. So what if someone wants to sell their award? Geez, maybe F. Murray Abraham's career has been in the toilet since 1987 and he needs some extra cash. He gave one great performance, let him sell his Oscar to the highest bidder if he wants. Maybe George C. Scott was a violent alcoholic who beat his kids and his award brings nothing but bad memories to his family and they want to sell his Oscar. Fucking let them already and make a few bucks. Why must they be such douche bags? By the way, it doesn't apply to Oscars before 1950, which is why the Citizen Kane Oscar can be sold.

And why are people still hassling this poor woman? She's one of the school teachers who was 'convicted' of having sex with a student. A student who by all that's fair and good, deserves to have his balls cut off as far as I'm concerned. Here he is, banging his seriously hot teacher and instead of thanking God every single night, he turns her in (or something like that). What a little shit. If it was me, I'd have never breathed a word and if asked about it, I'd have denied it up and down (except to my friends). She's a woman and she's HOT. Was there some sort of victim here? This episode of South Park pretty much sums up the logical argument in this and similar cases. Leave this totally hot woman alone, she did nothing wrong.

And I've been wondering something. As someone who has always had a laundry machine and drier in their house, what do people do while they do their laundry either in their building or at a laundromat etc. ? I mean, does one just sort of sit there like an idiot for 40 minutes while the thing spins? And then another 20 or so while you run the drier? How does it work? Do you just go off somewhere and come back when it's done? You think that would make the most sense, but then wouldn't your clothing be susceptible to theft? Are there locks on the machines? I mean, sitting there for like an hour while you go through the process sounds retarded to me. Who has the time or patience for that? And that's only for one load. Most people probably do like one load a week, when you account for the fact you can't mix whites, blacks, colours, delicates etc. So what the fuck? Someone please explain this to me.

That's it for now. For the record, yes I am starting to lose my mind and I do predict it's only a matter of time until I suffer some sort of breakdown. Wheeee!

Every day, in every way, it's getting worser and worser

So this essay that I figured I could wrap up no problem on my last post? It almost killed me. I "finished" it just now. I thought I could get it done by sometime on Wednesday, do a decent job and only take a puny 2% penalty on it. Well, as it turns out, it wasn't quite like that. I think I'm really looking at my first every 'F' here. It's that bad. Now I'll get 6% off (I was able to submit by email and did so just before midnight) and what more, the essay was a mess. Two pages too short, way under referenced, no structure, no sense at all really. I actually might have finished the thing yesterday (and done a slightly better job) but do to my stupidity and only saving it to a floppy disk (which was somehow corrupted) I lost half the thing and had to do a lot of it over. I've handed in sub-par stuff before, but this is easily the worst I've ever done. Actually, pretty much everything I do is sub-par and half-assed, but this time I've topped pretty much all of my own incompetence. God, I feel like such a fuck up right now. I'm a smart fellow and I just can't fucking get it together. I never have been able to and probably won't. This explains why I'm still working on an undergrad at age 26. That's disgusting and there's no excuse for it. It's just one of the reasons why I truly do hate myself. God I just wish I'm able to get through this last year. Then I'll have an awesome B.A. in English. Which will get me nowhere. Also a reason why every morning I wake up and wish I was dead.

On a related note, I'm having more and more trouble getting up in the morning. On days when I don't have to be at work or class until a later time (or have nowhere to be at all) I find myself sleeping in until like 2:00 or 3:00 PM. I just can't seem to wake up or can't. Sleeping from 12, 13 hours a day isn't healthy, is it? I'm even starting to miss classes because of it, something I never allowed myself to do before. I'm just so tired and don't want to wake up.

Suppose I'll have nothing but time to do so now. I have a test on Tuesday and a couple of exams a week apart after that, but it's really just doing reading, no pressure of having to cite sources, make arguments, check word counts etc. Having just failed this thing gives me plenty of time to worry about other stuff I suppose. I guess I'll make myself available to work more, at my pathetic job which is totally below me. I could use the money. And I'll have time to spend worrying about things like the rear-defrost that needs to be repaired on my car. How much I'm loathing another incredibly awkward Christmas at my home. How to try to attempt to score blow and probably fail. More time for introspective things, like just how much I hate myself, how unbelievably lonely I am and amazingly empty my life is. And New Years....Lord, that's one I'm really dreading. This might truly be the year that I spend it alone in bed, with a bottle of wine beside me. Not that I ever have a good time on December 31 (or am even capable of having a good time in general) but I really do fear this is going to be the year where I sink to a new low.

I suspect I've already hit rock bottom and yet I'm still going lower and lower until I hit the Earth's core and burn up like a paper airplane being launched into the sun.