Tuesday, August 29, 2006

John Oates can't be more than like 5'4"

Yet again, I've gotten rather blog lazy. It's been over a week and there's really no reason why I couldn't have at least posted something. I have enough to say that it probably would have been better for me to divvy this up into several smaller posts, but instead it looks like I'll once again be embarking upon what is sure to be an epic blog post. God help us all.

Most importantly, Daryl Hall and John Oates performed last night at the Hummingbird Centre in Toronto and I was indeed in attendance and I went with someone who was a total stranger, prior to last night. In response to my last post, a fellow named "Sam" replied that he would take my extra ticket, despite the fact that neither of us had any idea who the other was. But no one else had taken me up on my offer of a free ticket to a concert, so despite any misgivings I might have had concerning going to a show with some random dude, I went ahead with it. Interestingly, the day before the show, two people sent me emails saying they could go if I still had an extra ticket, one of whom being "The Colonel" (the other being a semi-random I sort of know through MSN mostly). I felt really bad saying that I had already given the ticket away and I still do. I don't know if I did the right thing. After all, The Colonel is my friend and the person I had promised the ticket to was just some guy I didn't know. However I did already tell this guy the ticket was his and couldn't go back on that. I think I did the right thing but I still feel a little bad about it. Besides, I was somewhat petrified that this guy would either no-show or be a total (or at least partial) nut job. Happily, neither of these worries were warranted. He not only showed up on time, but also proved to be a wholly decent fellow, even going so far as to pay for the beers before the show. Totally unnecessary, but a very kind gesture for sure. Went to the bar where my old pal "Chachi" works, saw him, had a few beers, talked some baseball, smoked many cigarettes and went off to the show. Short of him being a hot girl, no complaints. Though I must say the hostess at Chachi's place of work was among the best looking women I've ever seen, even if Sam believed her to be too young. I'm sure she was at least 19...nothing wrong with that. Chachi, if you're reading this, please do pass along to her that she is among the most stunning ladies I've ever laid eyes on...I didn't have the guts to do it myself.

As for the show itself, I must say the Hummingbird Centre is a fine venue. They have a convenient bar right outside the auditorium and one can duck outside with their drink and have a smoke before the show. We missed the opening act (still not sure who it was) and I don't think we were alone in that. The support band is already set up and of course the crowd goes wild as H2O make it on stage. They're both still looking pretty good, though I do wish Oates still had his moustache. Also he pretty much does all of nothing for most of the show while Hall handles almost all the vocals and stage patter and such. But he's still an important part of the equation. The show opened with "Maneater", a good choice ensuring that a well-known hit would get the crowd excited early. The main set consisted of H2O favourites and few great covers like "Me and Mrs. Jones" and "I’ll Be Around". Highlights included "Say It Isn't So", "She's Gone" (my favourite of their tracks), a great performance of Hall's lesser known solo effort "Cab Driver" and "Sara Smile" which I was never really that big on, but loved it live. Especially when it flawlessly segued into "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)". Very cool stuff. But the crowd didn't really get jumping until the encore. As soon as the intro to "Out Of Touch" hit, everyone got on their feet, people leaving their seats and getting as close as possible dancing in the aisles. "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" followed and after fooling no one by leaving the stage again, they returned with "Rich Girl" (satisfying my drunken screams for it) before wrapping things up with an extended medley of "Kiss On My List" and "Private Eyes". For a couple of white fellas, these guys truly do have soul and gave the crowd what they wanted (even taking a request at one point). All in all a really fun show, even if you're not a fan I'd recommend going to see them if you get a chance. You probably know more Hall & Oates songs than you think you do and what's more, they really do give it their all.

So I actually had a rare day of fun, which was nice. Today though, I look at the bloody calendar and see that another summer has passed me by...this hasn't exactly been one to remember, not by a long shot. By and large, it's consisted of me working and then going home and wallowing in self-pity. Yeah, I've gotten out occasionally, but those instances have become increasingly rare. If anyone cares to know, it's all been blogged...my life isn't that exciting, so anything of note has probably been posted, not like there's a lot to keep track of. School starts up again in less than two weeks, so at least it'll give me something to do. Though I must say, going there seems to only amplify my loneliness. Being surrounded by so many people and still not having anyone to talk to. The whole thing just terrifies me. People all around and none of them want to be my friend...I don't know if that's really true, but it's what's in my head and I can't seem to ever get it out. This is going to be a long, lonely year.

My love life is still on life support. I honestly can't remember the last date I was on. It's been a while, I'll tell you that. Where do guys meet girls? I keep asking people this question and no one seems to ever have a solid answer for me. The internet route isn't really doing much for me these days. It's likely that I've exhausted the Hot or Not website and I hate Lavalife to the point where I'm considering blowing up their stupid building...yes, I know where it is, I drive by it often enough if I'm heading down the 427. There's this silly speed-dating thing I'm considering, though I actually haven't signed up for it just yet. It's on September 6th (next Tuesday) and just today I got an email reminding me of the fact that I'm "invited" to this event. The fact that there is a week to go until this thing and there are still spots open (only ten guys and girls each) makes me worry. If this thing were even halfway decent, wouldn't it have filled up already? And you've got to believe that the male side would fill up sooner than the females...If there are still spots open for guys I've got to wonder if ANY women have even signed up for it. The event will be cancelled if it doesn't fill up and I won't have to pay, but my concern is that this whole thing is a ridiculous joke and not even worth the time of someone as pathetic as me. But what other options do I have at this point in my life?

The only other 'lead' I have right now is D Rock's friend Nicole and this blind date she may or may not be setting me up on. The last blind date I went on (courtesy of our dear departed blog friend Daphne) was quite possibly the worst date I've ever been on. No, I don't consider "Thunder Thighs" to have been a date. As a result of my past experience, I'm understandably a bit wary. I did ask to know if she was pretty, perhaps a violation of blind date etiquette. But I don't care. I'm desperate, but not THAT desperate. Then again, I saw a picture of the last one and I swear she must have put on 20 pounds since it was taken, much of it in her face (if that's possible). Blind dates and speed dating...if anyone has sunk lower than this, I'd love to know about it.

Still hoping the band gets back together sometime. There was talk or a band meeting / rehearsal over this past weekend, but that never came to pass. I'm hopeful something will happen this week. This was going to be one of the few bright spots in my life. If this falls apart, it'll be yet another of life's disappointments to go along with the incredible lack of....um, what's the opposite of disappointment? It's been so long that I can't even remember what the word is.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Out of Touch?

Well folks, it is now one week until Hall & Oates...I have less than ONE WEEK to find someone to go with me. It's not like I'm trying to sell this ticket. I'm offering a free ticket to anyone who would want to go and see this show with me. Even if you're not a fan, I'm sure you've at least heard of a few of their songs or would know them if you heard them. That isn't even the point. It's a free ticket to a show. Enjoy some music, even if it is on an ironic level. Whatever. I don't care at this point, I just need to find someone to go. So far I've had one maybe (from our good friend The Colonel) but at this point, I need a 'yes' from someone, anyone. If I'm forced to just eat the cost of these two tickets and miss seeing Hall & Oates, I am going to be seriously bummed out. Just the prospect of that happening is starting to make me miserable. It's getting very close here and I'm really starting to worry. So again I say, this is me offering a free ticket to go see a concert. Anyone interested?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Are You Lonesome Tonight? I know I am.

Seems like I've gone from too few posts to too many. This will be my last one for a few days, just to make sure everyone gets themselves up to speed, catches their breath or whatever. Anyhow, I could not let the day pass without calling attention to this, the 29th anniversary of the passing of the King of Rock & Roll, the great Elvis Presley. May he never leave the building.


-King Hippo

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Two posts in one day. WTF?

Hmmm, not sure why I posted that last one...I have odd dreams all the time and yet I chose to post about this one. Maybe seeing as it was about someone I know, which for me is very unusual. The only other young lady I ever dreamed about was the receptionist at the hair salon next to my work. I was in a hotel room, left to get ice and came back to find her in my room, plus a random couple in the bathroom. I didn't really check on what they were doing, but she and I also took a nap...weird. But in the dream about the girl at the hair salon, she was topless. Also, I told her about my dream. I think she got a kick out of it. However, she still won't go out with me. Now that I think of it, I also had a dream with our good friend 'Beer' in it (no, we didn't nap together, thankfully). In this dream, I was a character in some bizarre computer role-playing game and he another character who was the leader of some other people and though he seemed to be on my side, I remember being very suspicious of him. It probably turned out that he was the villain, but we never got that far. Anyways, if this most recent person got wind of the fact that I'd had a dream about her, I'm not sure if she'd be amused. So I'll keep her identity a secret.

Getting back on track, I must thank all the nice people for their feedback on the pictures. I suspected as much and also agree that the first picture is the best (which is maybe why I subconsciously placed it first). It is indeed the picture I mostly use for all my Lavalife / Hot or Not type stuff. So despite the fact that I'm putting my best face forward (as it were), I'm really not getting anywhere. The best I can manage is a pathetic 7.6 on my Hot or Not rating and ZERO Lavalife feedback. Interestingly, one of the Lavalife poll questions up this week is "What is most sexy?". For women responding, the breakdown is as follows:

Overall Looks: 21%
Humor: 30%
Confidence: 49%

At least men are a lot more honest. Overall looks are most important to them, with 48% of the votes. I think I'm a pretty good writer, I've been told so on many occasions. My profile write-up is clever enough. Also, I've been very careful not to put anything self-deprecating it there, so I'm sure there confidence part is as good as it can get in an internet profile. But the looks? Hmm, that seems to be where I fail here. I honestly can't think of any other reason why. Now I know I completely lack any confidence in real life, but if I were better looking, I really wouldn't need any. And because I'm not, I don't have any. Well, I'm sure it goes far deeper than that. I wish there was something, anything I could do. My only thing right now is to go ahead with the speed dating. I’ve been sent an invitation to an event on September 5th and I think I’ll be replying in the affirmative. It won’t be long until I hit rock bottom here. This speed-dating thing has all the makings of a HUGE disaster, on the level of the whole “Thunder Thighs” debacle. I still can’t apologize to D Rock enough for that one. Things are so rough for me right now, I can’t even begin to put it into words. And there is truly no end in sight to my troubles, no prospects or anything. I don’t think anyone can really relate to my loneliness.

I guess that’s it yet again from me…I still haven’t gotten to my big deal political rant and maybe it’s best that I don’t. I actually have much of it written; maybe I’ll save it for another time, maybe not. By the time I do get around to it, it probably won’t be topical anymore anyways. In short, I just wanted to come out and state my support for Israel in the current and indeed, ongoing conflict. If anyone really wants me to fully state my position, whether it be here or in private, I’ll be happy to. I do just want to say how proud I am of our Prime Minister for his incredibly brave and principled position on this important issue, one which has actually COST him in the polls. I have a theory as to why that has happened, but people won’t like to hear it, that’s for sure. And I know, simpleminded detractors are so keen to explain his stance as kowtowing to the United States and George W. Bush, something which is unbelievably ridiculous. I for one am proud to finally have a leader in this country who believe that the democratic and sovereign nation of Israel has a right to defend itself from a terror organization bent on wiping the state of Israel off the map and I’m sure wouldn’t be too saddened to see all Jewish people with it. But I digress. This isn’t a political blog. However, if anyone feels the need to debate the issue, I’m more than happy and prepared to do so. Thanks kids. Take care.

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

Had the most terrible dream last night...As far as I can remember, I was on Jeopardy! (or at least some sort of trivia game show) and was doing horribly (which is odd, since I'm very good at trivia).

Afterwards, I was wandering around the U of T campus downtown, rather upset and ran into someone I know of the female persuasion. This is also somewhat odd, seeing as I very, very rarely dream of people I know. We walked around in an area surrounded by ivy-covered buildings and trees and actually sat under a tree, held hands and cuddled up close and all that mushy stuff. Finally, we went back to someone's house. I remember I got a drink of something, then we both decided to lie down and go to bed. No, it didn't go any further than that. But the last thing I remember is waking up in the middle of the night, quite alone as I always am. For one wonderful moment, I dreamt that I wasn't sleeping alone, as I always do. Then reality sets in and here I am, as I always have been and seem doomed to always be: alone.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Of afternoon games and heavy lifting

My updates are really becoming quite infrequent and there's no good reason. It's sad really, not like I'm super busy. I've actually been here at the computer for the last couple of hours more or less doing nothing. At the very least I could update my poor, neglected blog. Getting started is always the hardest part, but I seem to have done so, so I guess we're off.

My long weekend wasn't too bad, overall. Saturday was Marty Boy's big move, which was quite the event. Again, good for him that he finally got his shit together and moved out. It's not a bad place either. He rented a U-Haul, got a few of his friends together (I know them all), packed all his things up and finally got the hell out of his parents' house. There was quite a lot, a bed, bookcase, dresser, lotsa books, clothes, a table and a whole whack of other stuff. All the delicates went in the Volvo and our other buddy Pete's car, while all the big stuff was U-Hauled. I was quite the teamster, moving boxes and shelves whilst smoking a large cigar in the noonday sun. Of course, I was topless as well. Unlike most blue collar types, I don't have a gut, thankfully. Marty Boy and I did pretty much all of the heavy lifting, seeing as his other friends are rather worthless and week. He's on the first floor of a lowrise, so it wasn't so bad. There was plenty of cold beer and he very generously took us all out to lunch afterwards. He's a good fellow. Not exactly a super exciting time, but at least I could say I did something.

Worked on the 'holiday' Monday, but not like I would have had anything else to do. On Wednesday, went to the Jays game with our old pal, The Colonel. Haven't seen that guy in quite a while, it was certainly nice to see him. Roy Halladay was on the mound and it was a beautiful day; I haven't been to an afternoon game in ages, it was nice. My face is a tad sunburnt now, but it's a small price to pay for a nice day out. The Jays won and we hit up Hooters (!!) after the game. The food is nothing to write home about, but the service...oh dear Lord, the service. I could sit here and try in vain to describe to you all just how gorgeous our waitress was...but I don't think my lousy blog-words could ever do her justice. Only The Colonel and I will ever know. Sweet Jesus in heaven, I'm amazed I didn't sin my pants just looking at her. Sigh.

So that's been pretty much it lately. A few things did come up that are worth noting.

Firstly, I am happy to say that the band I was in, is not dead quite yet. Yes, it has been a while, but when I broached the subject with TC, he was glad that I had it on my mind. Aside from one very unpleasant memory, I really did enjoy the prospect of being in a band. Hopefully when Double D is back in the fall and provided the bass issue is sorted out, we might be back in business. My interest hasn't waned, infact I even have two songs I've been half-assedly working at. With a bit of effort, I could probably polish them up in no time. My piano skills are still very rusty, but if things start to come together, I'd certainly be motivated to brush up. My fingers are crossed that all works out. And while I'm on the subject, my two ingenious suggestions for the name of the band are either The New Jerseys (as in the cow, not the state or shirt) or The WTF's. Just throwing it out there.

Secondly, The Colonel has convinced me to go through with this speed dating thing. Though it's too late to sign up for the one coming up on August 22, I will definitely try to get on the list for the next one. It might be good for kicks and seriously, I have very few other options. My biggest worry was that I wouldn't be good enough, that all the other guys would be successful professionals, have good jobs, nice cars, their own places. When I told The Colonel this, his immediate response was "Uh, should your biggest worry be that all the women there are going to be dogs"? Amazingly, this didn't even cross my mind for a second. I guess that really is a much more legitimate concern. What does it say about me that I didn't even consider it at all? I really do spend far too much time caught up in my own insecurity. I think I need him as my life coach and I could have some sort of free trial period that shows a marked effect, I would consider putting the man on salary.

Lastly, something that has nothing to do with any of the above. I am really hating the Lavalife thing right now. I've sent 'smiles' (shown interest) in 12 women on the site and have gotten ZERO smiles back. Now, I pride myself in being a good writer, articulate and witty when I want to be, especially provided I steer clear of the self deprecating shit. On my profile I have done this...I've been to the point, honest and (I think) clever. I've posted what I thought was a good picture. And yet, I get no interest. Same thing on this Hot or Not site. And I have heard so many success stories from these things and I'm really not having any. To be fair, the internet has been far better to me in terms of dating success than anything else, but I really aren't getting anywhere lately. Is it my profile or is it my picture? I really do think it's the latter....So I've put together a collage (I have too much free time) of what I consider are my better pictures...I've love some feedback on which is the best, which I should use on a Lavalife or Hot or Not type profile thing. This could impact my entire future here, so any and all feedback is very much appreciated.

Anyways, that's it for now. I know, I keep meaning to do a big political post, but again I've run out of space. Perhaps it's for the best...I don't want anyone to hate me for my crazy rants. Thanks folks, y'all take care.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

That cartoon woman on the Fastlife.ca site is pretty hot...

Ugh. So I suppose I'm not as unhappy as I was last week, though that could change at anytime I guess. I often feel bad when I write such mean spirited, ranting posts. I just hope that all of the good people reading this can forgive me and maybe try to understand where I'm coming from. Also, I do hope you all haven't abandoned me. Thanks.

The past week or so has been okay, I guess. Went out for drinks with Marty Boy on Friday night...the guy is finally getting his own place. He makes rather good money, so I've wondered what took the guy so long. Still, better late than never. He's actually moving in this Saturday and I've been drafted to help with the move, seeing as I have strong arms and a car with a lot of trunk space. Should be fun. Believe it or not, I've never actually helped anyone with a full-scale move before, so I'm sort of looking forward to it. Hopefully it won't be too hot that day and hopefully he makes sure to pick up lots of beer for the thirsty moving crew.

Saw my friend Blondie on Sunday, we went out for dinner. She's going to New Zealand for about a month, with side trips in Hawaii and Australia. I'm sure she'll have a blast. Still haven't found anyone to take her place for Hall & Oates...I really need to find someone, anyone. It's less than four weeks until the show, so there's still hope. It's a free ticket to a show...how is it so hard to find anyone to go with?

I received an interesting email from the Lavalife mailing list I'm on (I used to use it, but haven't for a while, seeing as I never met anyone off of there). It was an invite to a speed dating thingee affiliated with their site. Now I don't know if this is ludicrous, but I'm actually really considering giving it a go. What do I have to lose, besides $59.95? My one worry is that many of the people there will be people with real jobs and such, those that don't drive a car made during the Cold War and don't live with their parents...The whole thing is done by age group, mine being 20-28. How good am I going to look compared to some guy my age or similar who isn't a total bum? Not to mention how good will I look to a woman who's a young professional? It just seems like I'm too old to be dating college students, too young to be dating people in the working world. I just feel stuck in between two dating worlds, not able to get into either. For those interested, the here's the link for the speed-dating site. Check it out, just for kicks.

I had a bunch of other things I wanted to cover, from why I love South Park so much (it's such a brilliant program) to an exciting potential development at work (I'll wait, I don't want to jinx anything) to a whole bunch of serious political things like the current conflict in the Middle East and our good buddy Mel Gibson's troubles. Maybe tomorrow, for now I'm going to head to the basement. Even with the A/C on, it is seriously hot and humid. I got to stay cool.
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