Feeling old

Well, I've now officially wasted a quarter of my life, as of yesterday at 10:15 AM. Wait, that assumes that I live to a hundred, doesn't it? A century? I smoke, I drink, I worry all the time, I don't exercise...I'm not making it to a hundred, who am I fooling? 75, if I'm lucky. So 1/3 down, 2 to go. Yikes. I'm just praying for a happy and productive middle. God knows that last bit ain't going to be milk and honey. So thing had better pick up now. Please Lord.

Didn't do anything exciting for my B-day, not that I ever do. A couple of years I went to a strip club, that was okay. I don't even remember if I did anything for my 19th birthday. Seeing as I can't remember, probably not. Even if I did have people trying to drag me out to do something, I'm not sure I'd have a blast. I'm really not a birthday person; it's certainly not my favorite day. I don't feel the need to do anything special, nor is there anything that I need or want. Really just the wish of 'happy birthday' is all that I care about. Though I usually give a very half-hearted 'thank you' (as I officially hate my birthday), it does feel nice to know that people remember or care.

I got a couple of calls yesterday (all of two). Marty Boy called today, but he's always been good about remembering in the past, plus he's a busy guy, so I certainly can forgive him on that account. Got one email, plus maybe 3 or 4 MSN well-wishes. Not super-impressive, but I do think it beats last year's total, so at least that's something. People forget / don't know / don't care. It happens. It is nice to at least have some well-wishers. Again, there's nothing I need or want. No fuss, no trouble, no anything. But it's always nice to know that people are thinking of you. I have a little thing when people I know tell me that they're going away on vacation or some sort of trip and ask if I want them to bring back anything. I always tell them to get the crappiest, cheapest little local tsotchke they can find. I don't want anyone to go to any trouble or spend any money on me. Just to know that you're being thought of is really the best feeling; indeed it is the thought that counts.

My lousy weekend or Why all women are mean and out to get me

I really should be doing some studying right about now. Have an exam Friday at 9:00 in the morning, Film History. Nothing really too intense. I should be fine, so long as I actually study. Perhaps after this.

Nothing very exciting to report otherwise, except for my crap-tacular Friday night. You see, as I reported in the last post, I was invited to a house party. Seeing as I barely knew the person who invited me and would not know anyone else there, I was a bit hesitant in attending. I asked a few people their opinions on whether or not I should attend and one of the people I asked (a co-worker of mine) offered to go with me, if I wanted. I was happy to have her along, it would likely make things a bit easier. She would meet me after work (at work) and we'd drive on down to this party.

So 9:00 PM rolls around and she's not there yet. So I wait. People are late sometimes, it happens. I wait a little more. Around 9:15 I call her cell phone. It goes straight to message, so I leave one, asking her where she is. I continue to wait...I wait for 45 minutes and still nothing. I've tried calling a few more times and still the phone isn't on. I'm getting worried at this point (as is my nature). I drive home, to see if I can find her home number. I do and call. It just keeps ringing. I get more worried. Maybe something has happened to her, I don't know. So I don't end up going to this party. My thoughts are now alternating between worry and anger. I don't want to be a jerk and just be thinking angry thoughts when it's possible she was in some sort of accident or God knows what. But then I start to think more realistically. What are the odds something happened to her? Pretty slim. The odds that I was stood up? Far more likely.

So might night is ruined. I actually rather looked forward to going to this thing, seeing as I am never invited to parties. But after the whole calling, worrying, then getting upset about it, I just wasn't in the mood to go anymore. I probably should have, but I was in such a foul mood, I doubt I would have had a good time.

So she finally leaves a message on my phone Monday morning. Of course nothing bad has happened to her. She took a nap and never woke up from it. Plus her phone must have died, so she says. I sort of figured that's what happened. Her message said she felt really bad, couldn't gather up the nerve to call me until then, etc. But no matter how you look at it, I got stood up. No one likes that, it's a terrible feeling.

Anyhow, it's just something that seems to happen with me a lot. Women always seem to be screwing me over one way or another. I was going to make a huge list and go over all the various things that have happened to me in the last little while in regards to various women not returning phone or emails, standing me up, treating me like dirt and just breaking promises in general. But I don't feel like doing that right now. Maybe I will in the future. But for now, I'm just too frustrated. And it would just get me more worked up. It really is a wonder I'm not a misogynist by now.

I am a tad crazy, I will admit

Shit ya'll, I rarely update this thing much anymore, do I? Not like I really have a lot going on that prevents me from doing so. Classes ended last week and I really haven't done much since then. Did some family shit for Easter on Saturday, then hung out with my good pal 'Beer' (one of my favourite people, I must say), but other than that, not too much. To tell you the truth, I've been largely bored out of my mind. Mostly playing video games and watching television. I really should start studying for the exams, but what can I say, I'm lazy. But, the bottom line is, there's no excuse for not updating this thing. I don't really have anything exciting to say, so I'll just go with some random thoughts for now.

-I've been invited to a sort of anti-house warming party tomorrow night (a house leaving, I guess). It's the same young lady who invited me to the karaoke thing a while back. Instead of hemming and hawing about it, I'm not going to think too much about it and just go. I still don't know her very well and I won't know anyone there, but whatever. I'm dragging a co-worker along with me (she actually volunteered to go) and if I'm not having fun, I can leave. That's the nice thing about having a car. I'll try to have fun, but no promises. Still, this will be my first house party in literally years, so it's worth at least giving it a shot.

-I really bite my nails a lot. I don't know if it's nerves or habit or what. But I truly need to stop. It's disgusting and unattractive. But I don't think I can stop. I could sooner quit smoking than quit this, I kid you not.

-Speaking of smoking, come June 1st, the entire province of Ontario will be entirely smoke-free. Yup, there will be practically no exemptions to where one can smoke indoors. Not even separately ventilated smoking rooms will be good enough. Does anyone else find this to be entirely draconian and fascist? Yes, I am a smoker of both cigars and cigarettes, but I'm also a reasonable adult. I would NEVER smoke around a child or someone who objected to it. I'm glad that they have separate smoking rooms. I think it's a good idea. I for one would never want to expose someone to my second-hand smoke who doesn't want it. But at the same time, this is about freedom; this is about my rights as a smoker, my rights as a human being to use a product that is still legal, last time I checked. If you don't want to be exposed to my second-hand smoke, don't enter the smoking room. It's that simple. Let those establishments that wish to cater to smokers do so and those that don't can do so. If this place wants to allow smoking in a separate room, allow them to do so. If another doesn't, so be it. Post warnings, make people aware of the risks they're taking by entering a smoking area, have them sign a waver for God's sake. Similarly, if someone doesn't want to work in an environment that contains smoke, they simply don't have to. Work outside that section or in another place. Make clear that the establishment permits smoking during the hiring process, whatever. Smoking is bad for your health. I get it. But I smoke because I choose to. I don't care to be treated like a second-class citizen or like some pariah, banished outside when I want to light up. This is an issue of freedom and rights, something that I'll be losing on June 1st.

-Am I the only person who thinks that we (okay, the United States) should bomb Iran and soon? I also thought that the U.S. should invade Venezuela and overthrow the dangerous dictator, the 'democratically elected' Hugo Chavez. I still think they should. Really, if it were up to me, the United States would invade / bomb every country that is even remotely unfriendly towards western interests. Man, I really am a right-wing nut-job, aren't I? At least I admit it. Manifest Destiny, baby!

That's it from me, time to light up a big cigar and read some Ann Coulter. Have fun boys and girls.

Tom Cruise can go fuck himself

Hello there friendly blog, um, friends. Is it just me or is this blog not nearly as depressing as it once was? Sure, I still complain here and there, but if you go back and read some of the entries from the past (please, don't read them, they're embarrassing), you'll see that they sure were pretty damned miserable. I was pretty damned miserable. Let me tell you right now, things are still not exactly peachy, but they're really not that bad either. I can finally drive my car (which is great), school is done (except for exams) and the weather is nice. My job still sucks, I still have no life and no girl, but maybe I'm getting used to that. Still, it's not like things have really turned around or anything. But I don't feel nearly as bad as I did. Answer? Maybe the pills are finally kicking in. I've gradually upped the dosage; maybe what I'm taking now is where I should be at. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I do know that I do feel a bit better. Again, I'm not 100% happy or super confident, but for whatever reason, things don't seem nearly so bad. The pills are the only solution I can think of. I guess I have modern medicine to thank.

So yes, school is done, more or less. I have the whole summer ahead of me now. What to do with it? I'm still debating the work thing. I mean, I could easily stay where I am. The pay isn't great and I've been here for like five years. It's growing a bit old. But on the upside, I don't work very hard, plus I can more or less set my own hours (indeed, I'm the one who makes the schedule). Where else would I find something? I really have no idea what sort of other work to consider and whether or not to look for something that's just seasonal or more permanent. If anyone has any real ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Besides working, I'm not sure what else I'll be up to. I mean, I don't really have much to do ever. No one to hang out with. So what do I do? I seriously need friends. Maybe my sexy new car will be the answer to making friends and influencing people. Though I must say that the insurance might just kill me. Damn those speeding tickets. I'm paying more a year for car insurance than I did for the vehicle. What a rip-off. I guess that's the price to pay for having a sweet Swedish luxury vehicle.

My ride could stand to be 'pimped'

Yeah, I realize that I don't exactly have the coolest looking car, but anyway, here's a snazy picture of my car.














I wish Xzibit would pay me a visit.

A long overdue update on my life

Spent half the day playing phone-tag with my insurance broker trying to get all my car insurance shit sorted out. Baring anything unforeseen popping up I should be insured by Wednesday and have plates on the car by the end of next week. So all should be ready to go before too long, I pray. I really can't wait to be back on the road, even if I don't have any place special to go. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find somewhere to go, something to do, someone to see.

Last week of classes this upcoming week, which is a relief. I'm amazed I made it through another year. One big test on Monday to study for and one final essay that needs to be done for the same day. After that, it's all gravy, at least until exams. At any rate, the end is in sight. Again, I can't believe I'm still here. I'm really too old for this school shit. Baseball has finally returned. It's been gone too long. The NFL does create a decent 17-week (plus playoffs) diversion, but I really do live for baseball season. The Jays have a great team this year, I can just feel it. I know it's early on, but I'm really liking their chances. We've got the best pitcher in baseball in Roy Halladay and a very solid rotation working behind him, provided A.J. Burnett stays healthy. Upgrades at First, Third and Catcher are looking good, plus I really like what I see from B.J. Ryan so far. Again, it's less than a week in, but having an automatic closer will be huge. Plus I'm looking from a big breakout year from Alex Rios. The Maple Leafs won't make the playoffs and I honestly couldn't give a shit. Hockey is boring. There, I said it. I'm a Canadian who find hockey immensely dull and lives for baseball. I'm different, so what? Anyways, I have to find people to hit up some games with me this year. I only went to maybe a couple last year and I hope to take in as many as possible this year. Who's with me? Anyone? I'll buy you a beer!

So with the car almost ready to go, school ending and baseball season starting, I've come to one conclusion: I need a girlfriend. I haven't been thinking girls ever since my last car was taken away, but now it's definitely on my mind. I need to get something going. But where do I look, what do I do? I really don't want to go back to the internet dating thing; I'll only consider it as a last resort. So if anyone has any tips, please don't hesitate to share. Or if anyone knows anyone they'd like to set me up with, that'd be even better...

Silverback Mango

Turn your back to me, please Henry. I am so sick now. The police are getting many complaints. Look out, I want that G-note. Look out for Jimmy Valentine, for he's a friend of mine. Come on, come on, Jim. OK, OK, I am all through. I can't do another thing. Look out for mamma. Look out for her. Police, mamma, Helen, please take me out. I will settle the incident. Come on, open the soak duckets; the chimney sweeps. Talk to the sword. Shut up, you got a big mouth! Please help me to get up. Henry! Max! Come over here. French Canadian bean soup. I want to pay. Let them leave me alone.

A Volvo!

Yes, that's right. I have a car. Finally, after all the misery I've been through in the last four months, not being able to get around, I now have a vehicle to call my own. And it's a luxury vehicle at that! Okay, so it is a few years old (1989), but I am now the proud owner of a Volvo 740 GLE. It's in very good shape and I got quite a good deal on it. Sadly, I'm still not able to drive it until I get plates for it and get all my various insurance nonsense cleared up, but hopefully all that won't take too long. A week or so, I hope. Finally, I'll be able to go places and do things. If only I had somewhere to go and something to do, I'd be set. Anyone want to do anything? Anyone? I have a car. Anyone? Sigh. I'll take some pictures and put them up when I have a chance.