Yet another dilemma
I'm in between classes right now, so I'm going to probably make this one short.
I've been invited to a birthday party this Friday for a girl that I barely know (she's actually a friend's ex). We've met maybe twice and at first I thought that I had been invited simply as part of a mass email, perhaps by mistake. But the invitation was intentional, in fact she was a bit upset that I thought I was only included as part of a mailing list. I guess I can't blame her for being a bit offended. Anyhow, my dilemma is whether to attend or not. I certainly would like to. It's being held at a very nice place, at which there will be karaoke (which I love) and she seems like a very nice person. My problems are:
A: I don't know her very well at all.
B: I won't know anyone there, in fact.
I really would like to attend, the trouble is that in addition to this, I really have no friends that I could bring along (which makes me feel like a bit of a loser, which I suppose I am). I'm really not sure what to do here. Again, I'd really love to go, seeing as I love karaoke and this is the first time in eons anyone has invited me anywhere. The fact that I won't know anyone is a bit of a problem, but worse than that is the fact that I have no one to bring and this makes me feel pretty sad. This will just go to show that I have no friends, which may make me look rather pathetic. I don't want to just sit in the corner by myself. I wouldn't look so bad if I brought a friend along or if I knew her better. But as it stands, I'm afraid that I'll just be some loser guy who had nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang out with a bunch of people he doesn't know. People will think "Oh, he has no friends", which is probably true.
I know this sounds like more complaining (and I guess it is), but I just don't know how to deal with this situation. Advice? Anyone? Sigh.
I've been invited to a birthday party this Friday for a girl that I barely know (she's actually a friend's ex). We've met maybe twice and at first I thought that I had been invited simply as part of a mass email, perhaps by mistake. But the invitation was intentional, in fact she was a bit upset that I thought I was only included as part of a mailing list. I guess I can't blame her for being a bit offended. Anyhow, my dilemma is whether to attend or not. I certainly would like to. It's being held at a very nice place, at which there will be karaoke (which I love) and she seems like a very nice person. My problems are:
A: I don't know her very well at all.
B: I won't know anyone there, in fact.
I really would like to attend, the trouble is that in addition to this, I really have no friends that I could bring along (which makes me feel like a bit of a loser, which I suppose I am). I'm really not sure what to do here. Again, I'd really love to go, seeing as I love karaoke and this is the first time in eons anyone has invited me anywhere. The fact that I won't know anyone is a bit of a problem, but worse than that is the fact that I have no one to bring and this makes me feel pretty sad. This will just go to show that I have no friends, which may make me look rather pathetic. I don't want to just sit in the corner by myself. I wouldn't look so bad if I brought a friend along or if I knew her better. But as it stands, I'm afraid that I'll just be some loser guy who had nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang out with a bunch of people he doesn't know. People will think "Oh, he has no friends", which is probably true.
I know this sounds like more complaining (and I guess it is), but I just don't know how to deal with this situation. Advice? Anyone? Sigh.
posted by King Hippo at 12:54 PM
7 Comments:
first of all, you've got plenty of friends. second of all, man, how're you supposed to meet new people if you don't spend time with people you don't already know? And would it not be more awkward to bring somebody (a friend) that she hasn't met at all, ever? Yeah, it might be a little awkward, but just go for it. just don't sing too much. You're a damn good singer, just let other people have a run at it.
I totally agree! I went to a kegger where I knew no one and even the person I went with, I'd met him the day before (internet guy) and I had so much fun! I was really nervous too because I also didn't have any friends that would go or that drinks, but I had so much fun! I totally think you should go!
ouch that's a toughy. i have been in those situations before too when you don't know anyone. sometimes you just have to suck it up and jump in. chances are you will meet some very cool people. all of the times that i have been in those situations i have ended up with new friends. so hopefully if you can get past the hurdle of just getting your butt out the door to the bar, you will have the same outcome.
Agreed, agreed, agreed. The way I see it is that if it's absolutely horrid, you can leave, right? What's the worst that can happen? It sucks? Well, then you wish the birthday girl a happy day, and bow out. If it's fun, you get to stay and meet some new people whilst karaokeing.
Well, my point was that I'd seem like a loser if I just sort of showed up. I'm not so much worried about it sucking or it not being fun, but rather me just being so out of place (being welcome, but not really "welcome"). I guess I will go, but I'm still worried that no one will want to talk to me there and having to slink out rather depressed. We'll see what happens.
Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here. If you go, you will feel and be out of place. People will probably say stuff like "Who's the weird guy who came by himself?". You'll say hi to the birthday girl (who, by the way, will be so busy trying to see everyone else she invited that you probably won't see her much during the night) then you'll get a drink, stand around, maybe sing a few songs, and then leave. Honestly, I'm not going to bullshit you, that's probably what's going to happen. You're going to feel awkward, and the birthday girl will probably feel awkward as well when she realizes that you came with no one and that she's going to have to entertain you all night. I'm sorry to be so blunt but that's just what I think. If you go, you have more guts then me. I'd never have the nerve to do something like that.
I wish I didn't have to agree with you Squirrely, but that really does seem like the most likely scenario. And as far as I know, you're not at all the pessimist that I am. You're just being realistic. How else is it likely to go down? The above is pretty much how I see it turning out. Anything else just seems like wishful thinking. Total strangers are not just going to flock to me. I'm nowhere near that interesting / charismatic / good looking. I might not even get the chance to find out. I wrote back yesterday afternoon to say that I would be attending, apologizing for my earlier indecisiveness. I asked about a song she might like to hear and what she wants for her birthday. I've gotten no response. The silence may be an un-vitation. I don't even know if I'm welcome anymore.
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