I complain because I care

What a miserable weekend. It's my own damn fault, really. Here I am, swamped under a mountain of homework. Two essays to be done by Monday. How much have I done? Next to nothing. At the beginning of this school year, I promised myself I wouldn't leave all this shit until last minute. I lied. So there goes my weekend. Could have had two potential dates lined up, but I really don't have the time...moron. I could easily knock all this stuff off if I just put my mind to it. But I just can't focus. Never have been able to, never will. Sad.

The girl I went out with last Saturday still hasn't gotten back to me. Things aren't looking good. I thought the date went quite well. I've certainly had first dates with more impact, but as far as they go, I'd rate this one a very solid 7. The conversation was solid and there wasn't any awkwardness, so far as I could tell. I said I'd like to see her again, she certainly seemed okay with that. Sent her a text message on Monday and one yesterday. No reply. Do I call or email? Do I wait? I'd love to know what went wrong. I really like this one and what's more, I was completely positive around her and with myself. I managed to keep the self-deprecation in check almost entirely, something which I'm usually bad with. I was just myself and thought I did really well. I approached the whole thing in a very upbeat manner. She seemed reasonably into me. And still, nothing works out. What do I keep doing wrong?

I guess I have sex girl as a backup, as bad as that sounds. Yeah, we slept together, but I'm just not into her. The conversation isn't that great, the sex was mediocre and I'm not really THAT attracted to her. It's like I'm settling here. I hate having to do that. Other than that...well, there's other internet girls, I guess. I'm getting sick of this whole internet thing. There must be another way to meet women...I mean, this seems to work reasonably well for me (better that anything else, at any rate), but I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut with it. There is a cute girl who works at the hair salon next door, I might consider asking out. She seems very nice and I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. I have to find a good time to try and ask her out. Maybe if I see her head out for a cigarette, I might head out for one myself. And then what do I say? I can't remember the last time I successfully asked out a girl who wasn't at the other end of a computer screen. Oh Hitch, where are you when I need you?


On the upside, my hair looks great today. However, I have nowhere to go. Go figure.