Progress?

A quick aside before I get started....I absolutely DESPISE those Tim Horton's ads touting their 'Steeped' tea and how amazing it is. "Hey, this tea tastes great"..."Yeah, it's steeped". Okay people....all tea is steeped tea. The process by which a tea bag is placed in hot water is called steeping. What's so new and great about this? What's next, they're going to advertise just how great their round doughnuts are? Come on. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it really does. That and the fact I don't seem to get any sleep. Tennis was on until 1:30 last night. Man, that Agassi continues to amaze at 35. I'd love to see him make the final at least, but I fear no one can stop the mighty Federer.

Okay, now that we're done with that rant, on to the main body of this blog...

I'm making progress, at least I think I am. First off, there was the step of me actually approaching a group of strange women to talk to them the other night, something I've never had the guts to do before. Secondly, my appointment yesterday with the therapist was probably my best one yet. Usually they mostly consist of him yacking a lot, probably due to the fact that I don't yack enough. But I was pretty good yesterday. I started off a bit hesitantly, but was really able to open up the best I've been able to thus far. Yeah, I was still holding back a bit, but I did feel a bit better about it. Plus, he's upped my dosage of pills, that might help too. Lastly, I picked up The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. It was either that or the Dummies one, but I consider myself more of an idiot. At any rate, it might give me some insight. You never know. At the very least, it's something to read at work.

Now onto the bad...

I got an email from her the other day. I thought it would be over and done with (after all, Double D called to apologize). Nope, not the case:

Hey:

I just wanted to write you that I heard that you were driving past Highway (x) apparently the other night and someone had the bright idea to call me. Well...I don't know if that was you or not, but I don't appreciate getting calls so late in the night. I mean, if it was my house...whatever, but my mom was sleeping and well.....yah! I know you were probably joking around, but what was that all about anyways? Double D called to apologize...which was nice of him, I appreciated that!

Just wondering what the heck that was all about!

-Her

So I am the jerk here. While it was not my bright idea to call her (still not sure who's it was), it was me who had to point out that we were driving by the exit to her house, which in turn led to the ill-fated phone call. Instead of emailing her back, I actually called. I explained all this and the reasons why I didn't call to apologize earlier and that was it. It was a two minute conversation. That was it. What really gets me is that her email was a reply to an email that I had sent her about two weeks prior. That email was a very pleasant "Hey, this is what I've been up to, how are you?" sort of thing, to which I got no response. It's really very frustrating. I'm trying to be a friend and apparently, I’m not even good enough for that. I really don't know why this continues to frustrate me, but it does, oh does it ever. Maybe I should have attempted a longer conversation over the phone, but it's too late for that now. Calling back will only seem weird. My only options as I see them are to do nothing (probably the sane choice) or the angry email. It hurts when someone I've never been anything but nice to treats me like utter shit. At this point, I might as well go for it. Help me out here people, what do I do? (let it go, I know...)

So, I was pretty down after talking to her again and probably would have drunk myself into oblivion, had it not been for the timely intervention of our good blog friend, Ms. Daphne. She sent me a picture and gave me the email address of some friend of her dude's. This was as obvious a setup as I've seen, but I'm not complaining. I chatted with her right after the incident with her, thus not giving me a chance to stew about it all (Thanx Daph!). We talked on the phone the next day for about 45 minutes (if there's one thing I can do, it's carry a conversation). All went pretty well and while wrapping up the talk, I suggested we continue it over coffee or lunch or something. She had no complaints (which is good). But me being me, I had to add something like "Unless of course, you don't want to, I mean you don't have to, if you don't want etc.". I always seem to do that self-deprecating routine and she called me on it. Dang. Everything was going so well and I fear I may have blown it. I tried to downplay it as much as I could, but I fear some damage may have already been done. We'll see. I'll give her a call tomorrow perhaps, hopefully everything is good. Really, what is it with me? I mean, everything is going well and I just start putting myself down as always. It really is my least attractive trait, one that I desperately need to control and just haven't been able to thus far. Really, what is it with me? Stupid, stupid, stupid....