Thursday, September 01, 2005

Someone please help me.

I am really depressed. Maybe more so then I've ever been. I don't even know how to describe it. I'm not sure if I want to cry or scream or what. I just know that I'm hurting right now. A LOT. And I feel so helpless. I really don't know what to do, who to talk to or what to say. I can't even put any of this into words. I really can't. But this is bad...I don't like this. I'm scared and sad and just feel so helpless.

I am just so lonely.

I wish I could suck it up.

I wish I could make this go away.

I want to feel better.

I want to be confident.

It's all the same issue. Yes, the fact that nobody wants me. I truly believe that and I just can't see it otherwise. No one wants someone who feels the way I do all the time. No one wants a depressing loser. But that's just how I feel. I can't make myself un-sad. I am sad ALL the time. Seeing someone doesn't help; I just can't seem to open up. The pills don't seem to help. I want to get better. I want to feel good. I want someone to want me.

Why doesn't anyone want me?

Why can't I have some happiness?

Why am I crying right now?

I'm a good person, I know I am. I know that I could make someone very happy, if only I got the chance. But it seems I'm just not good enough for anyone. There's something wrong with me.

I don't even know if I have the strength to carry on anymore.

2 Comments:

Blogger Beer said...

Hey Hippo

You've got plenty of people looking out for you, worried about you. I'm one of them. I was just talking to a friend of mine who is in therapy, and couldn't say enough good things about it once she opened up to the doctor.

And think of it this way: At least you're not in New Orleans, right? Send a donation to the red cross, you'll feel better, and you'll make an impact.

September 02, 2005 5:32 AM  
Blogger Squirrely said...

Yes, you should be thankful for so many things in your life. You could be so much worse. Think of all the starving people in the world. I agree with "Beer". Think of those in New Orleans right now, your life looks like a fairy tale compared to theirs. Be happy with what you have because you have SO much, you just can't see it.

September 02, 2005 10:04 AM  

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