Oh, the lousiness of it all

Had a lousy weekend. I don't know why, I just feel so sad, so lonely all of a sudden. I think I'm feeling more alone and isolated everyday. It's so sad that I can't seem to have a normal 'dating lifestyle'. Some bad dates, some good dates, casual seeing someone, a friend with benefits, a sort-of-girlfriend, a long-term relationship, make out sessions with strangers, one night stands and all that sort of stuff. You know, the things normal, healthy young people experience. I don't even know where to get started on any or all of these things. I guess a good first step might involve getting out of the house more. If only I had someone to go out with.

My only bright spot was an email yesterday from 'Starbucks Girl'. Here it is:

Im sorry.

I know you called a couple of days ago.

I just began my new job at Failte. ( craziness.ca)

I am usually there until, like 3:45 at night so, I dont know when is cool to call.....

We should play catch again soon...

S.G.

So she did get my message, which is nice and did respond. The last line sort of made me smile. The last time we hung out, we played catch in the dark, at a park near my house. Glad she enjoyed that, at least. I tried to give her a call yesterday (she wasn't home) and emailed her back, just in case. Told her she could call me anytime, my phone's always with me and it's off when I sleep anyways, so it won't disturb me (plus she can leave a message). Hopefully she'll call...I don't know if I should try calling / emailing her back again to try and make some definitive plans (i.e. "how about Thursday?") instead of just hoping she catches me. I really should start planning my days out in advance, rather then just hoping something materializes the day of. This was I might actually have something better to do then just stare at the wall, but on the other hand, I'm worried it may come across as me being desperate (i.e. planning to meet for drinks days in advance). Then again, I'm worried everything I do is desperate, likely because it is and I am.