Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I've been too political and not depressing enough lately!

Sorry about the lack of updates since Friday, I haven't (once again) quickly rescinded my vow that I'd be a more regular poster. I was busy this weekend with some little back-to-school readings, plus it was Orthodox Christmas (January 6th), plus I've been rather under the weather the last couple of days. I woke up this morning and it felt like I was on fire, seriously. But now I'm hacking my guts out, which is actually probably a good thing, that all the crap is working its way out of my system. I was hacking up some phlegm today and when I spit it on the ground, it actually bounced like a ball. Disgusting, huh?

Anyways tonight is the New Hampshire Primaries, which should be rather interesting. Despite what I said in the last post, it now does look like Hilary is seriously on the ropes. I was correct in calling John Kerry the winner in 2004 prior to the first caucuses and primaries, but looks like I was more on with that more difficult pick than I am here. As for the Republican side, I have no idea. It really does look quite wide open right now, what with Huckabee winning in Iowa and Romney and McCain being the front runners tonight. But Mayor Rudy still can't be counted out. We'll see how his strategy of putting all of his eggs into the Super Tuesday basket pans out.

It's also now seriously beginning to dawn on me that when I finish up my degree in April (God willing) I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do afterwards. I actually had this discussion with my aunts and uncles over the holiday this weekend and it left me so damned depressed. Right now I'm so clueless it's not funny. Like with everything in life, the prospect of looking for work terrifies me and I'm too scared to even get started on it. Having fear completely dictate how you live your life is a dreadful thing and even more so is the knowledge that you're powerless to change that. Probably not all people are, but I''m quite certain that I am. I've finally started looking at my school's career centre, which is something I should have done a very long time ago. At any rate if this is my best plan of attack, I'm likely screwed. There's a career week or whatever they call it coming up, but I don't think it will help any. If I do manage to drag myself there, it's not like I would have the courage to talk to anyone, ask questions, stuff like that. "Networking"(whatever that is) is quite possibly one of my greatest weaknesses and that's saying something. People so often find jobs thanks to the people they know. I don't know anyone. Once again, I am so screwed and it is no wonder I wake up every single day and wish I was dead.

There. I am now thoroughly miserable. I still have yet another class today (5-7 PM) plus the long commute (1:15 approx.) home. Without my sweet, fat, little dog to come home to, I truly would have nothing to look forward to. I know everyone has days when they feel like they can't go on, but having that feeling everyday? Sheer torture.


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