"Friends"

Seriously, I have no life. I wake up, eat breakfast, watch TV, go to work, come home, drink myself stupid, go to bed. That's pretty much my life. In a few days work will be replaced with school with homework occasionally taking the place of the drinking, but all in all, my life is pretty dull and pretty sad. I'd like to get out and do stuff, but it's not easy when you don't have any friends left.

I mentioned in my last post about a 'friend' that I talked to about hanging out with while she's back in town for the holidays. I suggested over MSN that we hang out sometime during the break. It was one of those MSN conversations in which you respond as soon as you can, but the other person takes 3 or 4 minutes to get back to a simple question sometimes. Like they really don't seem to care what you're saying at all. Whenever anyone talks to me, I make an effort to respond ASAP and if I can't or aren't really interested in talking with them, I'll politely excuse myself. But I don't ignore people, not even random strangers (unless they're nut-jobs). But this person, who is supposedly a friend, is barely pretending at making an effort to give me the time of day. Like I said, responses are delayed as hell and every time I say we should go do something, she counters with "Hey, do you know if (x) is still in town, we can all do something". She seems to have very little interest in hanging out with me, indeed she only seems to care how (x) is doing and if he tags along. I called and left a message asking her to call me back. This was on Tuesday. No reply. I'm really not shocked. Even when I do make an effort to stay in touch with people, make / keep friends, no one seems to want to have anything to so with me. I would have at least been polite enough to call back and make up some sort of an excuse.

I've made an effort to hang out with two other people this week. The first is the girl from this post. We talk a lot on MSN and we went out for drinks once. She has a boyfriend, but she seemed like a really cool kid and someone I'd love to hang out with, just as a friend. I'm very sincere in that. But every time I say that we should go do something, I get the runaround. The other was the one who invited me to the karaoke party. Also a very nice person. We go to the same school and I suggested that since this is the case, we should definitely meet for coffee one of these days in between classes. Again, maybe my imagination, but the MSN response to this suggestion seemed rather chilly. I gave her my phone number and said she could call me whenever. I guess I could be trying harder, but I am trying to make friends to some extent. Now lets see if any of these people call me back. Being rejected romantically doesn't sting anywhere near as hard as being rejected as a friend.