A long, cold, bleak winter
School is finally out for the semester, I'm done failing for now. Seriously, things ain't going so well there. I'm really going to have to turn it around second semester if I'm to make a respectable showing this year. After doing much better than expected last year, my progress so far has been a disappointment in the 2005-06 session. I think I totally bombed every end of term test. Not good. Plus, a paper that I turned in two days late was somehow time stamped as being four days late. So instead of losing 6%, I lost 12. There's no way to prove that I did hand it in when I did. Man, that really pissed me off.
So I now have a full month off...great. Lots of time to think (never a good thing). Besides that, Christmas is hardly my favourite time of year. It should be a happy time for family and friends, but again, I really don't have many friends to spend the holiday with and my family is severely disfunctional. Having a mother and father who live in the same house and despise each other isn't fun. I mean, they don't speak. Christmas under such circumstances isn't exactly a joyous time. For certain, things could be much worse. I could be on the streets. It's not bad, so much as it's painfully awkward.
Speaking of awkward, I went out for drinks with that girl I've sort of been seeing last night. She doesn't say anything, ever. I mean, I just have to keep talking and talking, telling useless stories just to sustain any sort of conversation. I have nothing in common with her. I had every intention of 'breaking up' with her last night, but just couldn't seem to find the back-bone to do it. I'm such a coward. I have nothing to talk to her about. She doesn't work, doesn't go to school, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I'm really not that attracted to her. And yet I'm too much of a coward to end it. I was hoping to just sort of have it trail off, slowly lose touch, but I don't know if that will work. That plan might have worked okay, except on the way home, she starts crying in the car. I have no idea why. Maybe she sensed things weren't going well or maybe it was just something unrelated. So I feel bad. Instead of breaking up with her, what do we do? Yeah. Take a guess. I've never regretted doing that before, but I sure did this time. Shoot, I hate to say this, but I really think I can do better than her. I hate to be so mean, but it's just how I feel.
Got my computer back from the shop. Not a big deal, after all. My hard drive is intact, which is a nice thing. So some good news there. Football is on, that always makes me happy. Nice to have a Sunday where I can just sit around, Bobo at my feet and watch some football. What else? Happy to see the Blue Jays make some serious moves this off season. I'm not going to get into the details, but as a huge Blue Jays fan, it's nice to see the team committed to winning again. I'm really optimistic about the '06 season.
Oh and on the last day of class, after my film tutorial the cute red headed girl turned to me as she was leaving and wished me a happy holiday (or something along those lines). I don't think she said anything to anyone else. She also sat next to me in tutorial, when I guess she could have sat anywhere. We chat a bit during these tutorials, but there's never really a chance to talk there. It's class time. I never see her hanging around between classes or sitting anywhere. How am I supposed to further the conversation? I mean, what am I supposed to do, follow her? That's a bit much. I'd like to talk to her, get to know her etc. How do I do this? Not so much what to say, but how to go about it, where and when? Any suggestions? Yes? No?
*sigh*
My neck hurts.
So I now have a full month off...great. Lots of time to think (never a good thing). Besides that, Christmas is hardly my favourite time of year. It should be a happy time for family and friends, but again, I really don't have many friends to spend the holiday with and my family is severely disfunctional. Having a mother and father who live in the same house and despise each other isn't fun. I mean, they don't speak. Christmas under such circumstances isn't exactly a joyous time. For certain, things could be much worse. I could be on the streets. It's not bad, so much as it's painfully awkward.
Speaking of awkward, I went out for drinks with that girl I've sort of been seeing last night. She doesn't say anything, ever. I mean, I just have to keep talking and talking, telling useless stories just to sustain any sort of conversation. I have nothing in common with her. I had every intention of 'breaking up' with her last night, but just couldn't seem to find the back-bone to do it. I'm such a coward. I have nothing to talk to her about. She doesn't work, doesn't go to school, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I'm really not that attracted to her. And yet I'm too much of a coward to end it. I was hoping to just sort of have it trail off, slowly lose touch, but I don't know if that will work. That plan might have worked okay, except on the way home, she starts crying in the car. I have no idea why. Maybe she sensed things weren't going well or maybe it was just something unrelated. So I feel bad. Instead of breaking up with her, what do we do? Yeah. Take a guess. I've never regretted doing that before, but I sure did this time. Shoot, I hate to say this, but I really think I can do better than her. I hate to be so mean, but it's just how I feel.
Got my computer back from the shop. Not a big deal, after all. My hard drive is intact, which is a nice thing. So some good news there. Football is on, that always makes me happy. Nice to have a Sunday where I can just sit around, Bobo at my feet and watch some football. What else? Happy to see the Blue Jays make some serious moves this off season. I'm not going to get into the details, but as a huge Blue Jays fan, it's nice to see the team committed to winning again. I'm really optimistic about the '06 season.
Oh and on the last day of class, after my film tutorial the cute red headed girl turned to me as she was leaving and wished me a happy holiday (or something along those lines). I don't think she said anything to anyone else. She also sat next to me in tutorial, when I guess she could have sat anywhere. We chat a bit during these tutorials, but there's never really a chance to talk there. It's class time. I never see her hanging around between classes or sitting anywhere. How am I supposed to further the conversation? I mean, what am I supposed to do, follow her? That's a bit much. I'd like to talk to her, get to know her etc. How do I do this? Not so much what to say, but how to go about it, where and when? Any suggestions? Yes? No?
*sigh*
My neck hurts.
posted by King Hippo at 4:44 PM
7 Comments:
I agree. Since you have nothing to talk to her about, just stop talking
i'd say, do the low thing, cheat on her with the redhead.
abooya
(heart) anonymous poster :)
Dude, if I could cheat on her with the red head, things would be so very good. I don't think it's that easy though.
What about just telling her you cheated on her with the redhead - or anyone, really? That would most likely end all relations with her, and you wouldn't have to go through the awkwardness of telling her that you just don't like her. That's never easy. But it is easy to say, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but last night...."
From her end, it's easier to be broken up with by a guy you're angry with. Then you don't feel sad, you just think, "well, he's an arse, I'm better off without him."
Well, I can't lie to her and I can't just stop calling. I'd feel wrong about both of those things. That's just not me. So I'm going to be as honest as I can be. I guess I'll meet with her tonight. Wish me luck.
And I really have to stop thinking about this cute red headed girl. I'm sure she probably has a boyfriend. All attractive women who are nice to me have boyfriends. That's always been my experience. I have a theory as to why, but I'm not going to get into it. It's complicated.
duder, what's the theorey? I want to know. and did you break things off with her?
I did break things off with her last night. No lying, no pretending to cheat on her, no stopping calls. Just being as honest as possible without hurting her feelings too much. I think it went as well as could be expected.
As to my theory, in short, I'm not a 'threat' to attached girls. Attractive girls who are already in relationships seem to be the ones who are nice to me, seeing as they already have someone and if I actually did do something like asked them out, they have an honest and convenient out. On the other hand, if a single girl were to be as nice to me, she would run the risk of me actually getting up the nerve to maybe ask her out. That's no good at all.
I would bet anyone a bottle of 12 year old scotch that cute red head has a boyfriend.
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