Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Holiday mischief

That special holiday I love, oh so much, is finally over. I guess it wasn't really so bad in retrospect. Working during the Christmas season usually gets me down, but it wasn't so bad this year, despite working almost every day. For whatever reason, the atmosphere was pretty good. I still dreaded it, but I didn't ever feel like killing myself rather than come in. What little shopping I had to do went pretty smoothly. I got some nice things, not like there's really much I need (other than more money). I know people who had worse Christmases than I did. My aunt (through marriage) has barely seen her two oldest daughters (my step-cousins) in a year. One day they pretty much packed up all their stuff and moved it to their dad's. On Christmas Day, they came over for literally five minutes, opened their presents and left. That must make my aunt feel pretty sad. Not cool. I have another friend who had to work all day (3-11) on Christmas day. She works as a motel clerk. Motels stay open all year round. She has to work the same shift New Year's Eve and day. Poor girl, I feel terrible for her, I really do. It rather ruined her Christmas.

After spending the first part of the day at my uncle's, we were off to a family friend's house. Same thing every year. I really don't mind, it's certainly better than doing nothing. Things were okay at first. Lots of good food (love mom's mashed potaters) and wine. I certainly had LOTS of wine. Everything went downhill for me sometime around seven or eight when I hopped on their computer (it was on and in the living room) just for a quick check of my email. On Christmas Eve I sent out an email to a buncha people, wishing them a good Christmas and safe New Year. I'm sure many of the people who read this also received it. I've never sent such a greeting, but for some reason I just felt like doing so this year. And out of all the people who I sent it to, she has to reply. She writes me this:

Thanks for the email, that was very nice of you.

I wish you and your family the very best as well. Have a good Christmas and New Year, hope all is well?! Be good and stay safe!

Take care and best wishes,


I know it shouldn't have, but it just made me instantly miserable. I haven't heard from her in months and didn't think I ever would have again. In a way, I wish I hadn't. Just another reminder of how lonely I am and how once, for a very brief time, I was actually happy. It just doesn't seem like I ever will be again. I DO need someone else to make me happy. Maybe that makes me a bad person or a weak person. I don't know. But on my own, I'm just not feeling it. It all went downhill from there. Our hosts' son's hot girlfriend came over. Hot girls make me feel really sad. This guy is a few years younger than I. He's never been to university, never seemed liked the sharpest knife in the drawer. Plus, he's a rather big (i.e. fat) guy. Yet he has a hot girlfriend, lives on his own, has his own car and is talking about buying a house. I'm sure he has lots of friends as well. How depressing. There really must be something wrong with me. Every little thing seems to conspire against me to make me miserable.

Afterwards, my sister went out with her friends. I don't have anyone to go out with, so I just stayed home and drank some more. I think the only time I enjoy my own company is when I'm drinking. Maybe I'm developing a drinking problem. Oh well. For anyone who still reads this, I'll be back with my "2005: In Review" next entry. Should be fun...


Blogger LU said...

how come you included her in your xmas email list if you didn't want to hear back from her? i make it a point to attempt absolutely no contact with him so that i don't run the chance of hearing from him which in turn makes me completely miserable for days.

December 28, 2005 12:49 AM  
Blogger d rock said...

well theres always marty boys gay "par-tay"!

December 28, 2005 8:04 AM  
Blogger King Hippo said...

I really didn't think that of all the people I included on my list, that she would be one to actually write back. I'm not sure if I should respond to her now or not. I probably should just let it be. Sigh...

And yes, Marty Boy's 'gay par-tay' as you put it, will be what I'm up to this New Year's. Double sigh.

December 29, 2005 3:08 PM  

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