The Russian Girl
I actually had another post ready to go (pre-written while at work; I have very little to do there), but something came up. I'm sure it's let another one of those situations of which I'm reading FAR too much into, but I might as well go on about it while it's fresh in my mind.
My job at the cigar store is very dull. Only a handful of people come in all day and for the most part I just read the newspaper, play solitaire or stare at the walls. Today, Hot Russian Girl (actually she's Ukrainian) came in, which is always a nice thing. She was an acquaintance of one of my former co-workers and she still comes in to buy cigarettes (I give her a discount) and to shoot the shit. Through out the years, she's come in and at first it was just to buy cigarettes, then we'd start chatting a little, then the conversations got longer. We once spent 20 minutes talking about the state of Heavyweight boxing, no joke. We'll talk about school, family, work, whatever. She'll usually be in for at least a good 10-15 minutes, sometimes more. Really just prolonged chit-chat. Maybe she's just too polite to excuse her self sooner or she feels sorry for me in my bored state. I really don't know. The last couple of times the conversation shifted to relationships, friends, meeting people stuff like that. Pretty much all the joyful topics I tend to cover here. I'd tell her how I'm not very confident when it comes to meeting people, am rather shy etc. In short, all the things I talk about here, just without the morose bent. I was being honest without being too much of a downer. She would talk about the same things, how she herself has a lot of trouble approaching guys, how she has trouble speaking in public (which I don't), difficulty in meeting new people, that sort of thing. Good substantive conversation really. Today we probably chatted for about 25 minutes.
The last time she came in (maybe a month ago) after all this same sort of talk, I actually did gather up the courage to ask her if she perhaps wanted to sometime grab a coffee or something like that. I was turned down (natch). She said that she was not in relationship mode and was just enjoying spending time with the girls, that sort of thing. I made it clear that I understood that and said something like 'hey, it's coffee' or whatever. It was still a 'no'. Fine. So towards the end of the conversation, after she had picked up her cigarettes, she asked when I was in next. I said tomorrow. She said she'd try and stop by (she does not work in or around the mall). I take this as a good sign. She likes talking to me. She seems to like me (in some regard anyway). So what do I do if she does come in tomorrow or whenever the next time she does come in? Should I try asking her out again in some capacity? I have no clue. I mean here's the rub. This girl is very attractive. I mean she's a 10. Flat out. Way too good for me in every respect (though she did compliment my new hair style). So I have no idea what to think here. Chances are I'm just getting my hopes up, like I always do. I'm stupid to do so really. I'm sure she goes out with good-looking guys who drive nice cars and don't live with parents. Who am I fooling? Should I even bother asking her out again? She said no once already, why should I even bother? I really have to stop getting my hopes up like this. It only leads to disappointment.
My job at the cigar store is very dull. Only a handful of people come in all day and for the most part I just read the newspaper, play solitaire or stare at the walls. Today, Hot Russian Girl (actually she's Ukrainian) came in, which is always a nice thing. She was an acquaintance of one of my former co-workers and she still comes in to buy cigarettes (I give her a discount) and to shoot the shit. Through out the years, she's come in and at first it was just to buy cigarettes, then we'd start chatting a little, then the conversations got longer. We once spent 20 minutes talking about the state of Heavyweight boxing, no joke. We'll talk about school, family, work, whatever. She'll usually be in for at least a good 10-15 minutes, sometimes more. Really just prolonged chit-chat. Maybe she's just too polite to excuse her self sooner or she feels sorry for me in my bored state. I really don't know. The last couple of times the conversation shifted to relationships, friends, meeting people stuff like that. Pretty much all the joyful topics I tend to cover here. I'd tell her how I'm not very confident when it comes to meeting people, am rather shy etc. In short, all the things I talk about here, just without the morose bent. I was being honest without being too much of a downer. She would talk about the same things, how she herself has a lot of trouble approaching guys, how she has trouble speaking in public (which I don't), difficulty in meeting new people, that sort of thing. Good substantive conversation really. Today we probably chatted for about 25 minutes.
The last time she came in (maybe a month ago) after all this same sort of talk, I actually did gather up the courage to ask her if she perhaps wanted to sometime grab a coffee or something like that. I was turned down (natch). She said that she was not in relationship mode and was just enjoying spending time with the girls, that sort of thing. I made it clear that I understood that and said something like 'hey, it's coffee' or whatever. It was still a 'no'. Fine. So towards the end of the conversation, after she had picked up her cigarettes, she asked when I was in next. I said tomorrow. She said she'd try and stop by (she does not work in or around the mall). I take this as a good sign. She likes talking to me. She seems to like me (in some regard anyway). So what do I do if she does come in tomorrow or whenever the next time she does come in? Should I try asking her out again in some capacity? I have no clue. I mean here's the rub. This girl is very attractive. I mean she's a 10. Flat out. Way too good for me in every respect (though she did compliment my new hair style). So I have no idea what to think here. Chances are I'm just getting my hopes up, like I always do. I'm stupid to do so really. I'm sure she goes out with good-looking guys who drive nice cars and don't live with parents. Who am I fooling? Should I even bother asking her out again? She said no once already, why should I even bother? I really have to stop getting my hopes up like this. It only leads to disappointment.
posted by King Hippo at 9:32 PM
6 Comments:
Man oh man. I say no to the asking her out again. Girls hate to be pushed, It's very un-attractive. If a guy is pushy in getting a date, then they assume he's going to be pushy in every other dating department. But, if you must chit-chat with her outside of the cigar shop (which by the way is awsome, my boyfriend loves cigars! Owning or working in a cigar shop would probably his dream job) Anyways, why don't you invite her out as a group outing. Say something like "Hey a bunch of my friends are going to *fill in bar name here* you should come out!" or if any of your friends have bands that play, say something like "My friends band is playing *insert bar here* you should come out for a drink!" Make it casual.
Squirrely is right. Though being pushy can be seen in different degrees... depends on the way you act it. You don't have to ask her out for a coffee...
Ever thought about bringing a coffee-machine to your store?
And by the way, rename your blog and cheer up (at least when she's around... I bet that helps a lot with girls. (Though that's just a theory...)
Well, it's a moot point. She didn't come in. I'm not surprised. Your advice is probably right anyways. I was stupid to even think that she (or anyone else) would be interested. Fuck, who do I even bother getting up in the morning?
Don't ask again... let it go. If she comes back in, act as if it were no big deal. Don't be indifferent, of course, cause then she may take that to mean that you are all busted up about it, which would, of course, turn her off.
Of course, don't be discouraged if she doesn't (or rather, didn't, since I see you noted that) come in. She has a life too - you never know what might have been the hold up. Just remain ever casual. Be chill. It's a tough line to walk, my friend - women catch on the smallest of physical or social clues which can turn them on or off in an instant. Best you can do is, when you talk to her again, avoid the topic of coffee and dating entirely. Take her back to a comfortable topic.
The public outing thing isn't necessarily a bad idea, but now might be too soon to the whole "crash and burn" incident. Wait another time or two... and, by all means, don't be depressed around her - be chill. Yeah, easier said than done.
Sometimes, when you care the most, you have to actually act like you care the least about it - she might wonder why, of a sudden, you aren't really making any special notice of her anymore... Yeah, cheezy, but I've seen it all too often.
Good luck.
Russian women are almost always attractive -- but they never age well.
alright chatty Cathy get back to us when you fuck her
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