Now for the Worst Date Ever

I hate this. I think I really have some sort of disorder or deficiency or something. I am ALWAYS freaking tired. I got plenty of sleep this weekend, lots last night and yet I'm still always out of it and wanting more sleep. Today I was watching baseball and just couldn't stay awake. Before you start, I love baseball. So that's not the cause for my weariness. I lay down to take a nap and instead of 45 minutes, two hours go by. Great. Now I won't be able to sleep tonight. Or rather I will, I'll just have to take a sleeping pill in about half an hour. Do I have chronic fatigue syndrome? Is there such a thing? I have no clue, but I think I love sleep far too much. Now that school is winding down, I think I need to rejoin the gym. Perhaps that'll help.

Nothing exciting happened this weekend. Went for sushi on Friday with my friend Blondie. That was pretty much it. I realize I have no life, yes. Nothing on Easter Sunday. My family doesn't speak so nothing doing there. Oh well, I'd rather be left alone anyways. I should have been doing some reading instead of sleeping, but other than that school is winding down, that is for sure. So there really isn't too much to speak of. Let's continue to get caught up to speed, shall we?

I left off with poor Bobo and his accident. Now I believe I mentioned something about a date. Yes...yes I did. As many of my older readers know, I do not go on many dates. This would be my first one since...hmmm, December I believe? Something like that. At any rate it was another internet person (how shocking) and though I was sort of doubting (her interest seemed to come out of the blue) I have very little to lose. Or so I figured.

So I finish work on a Friday night and drive to her apartment. I brought some wine and I'm happy to say that she looked good in person. No 'Thunder Thighs' or anything like that. We have a glass of wine each (which I brought). I tell her about poor Bobo and she sympathized. The plan was then to take the subway to the Horseshoe Tavern to meet with some friends of hers. Everything was going well, I was making jokes, we were holding hands, close physical contact and such. Not only is this a date, but it's going well! We get to the place, listen to some music, have a few drinks, chat with her friends. We're sitting close, nice and comfy like. She then says that she'd like to jet after this drink, go to a bar where her cousin works. Okay, sounds fine. So we hop in a cab and it's like something goes wrong. I have no idea what. She seems quite a bit more distant, though my memory begins to get hazy at this point. I think I really am repressing and it's not the drinks. We get to this bar where people obviously know her and she starts paying a lot less attention to me, in fact quite a bit more to some other dudes. She disappears for a little while, comes back and then again. Around last call, I ask her cousin directly "am I wasting my time" and she responds in the affirmative. I don't remember the exact words she used, but something like "she's a real flirt" or "she likes to mess around or fool around" or something. That may not have even been what she said, I was floored once again. The cousin asks if I'd like to be let out and I say 'no', I'll wait until she comes back. She does a minute later and weakly says something like "Um, I'm going to go party with so and so" and I say "Okay" and just walk out. I have a cigarette, collect my thoughts and the last I see of her is getting in a cab with some of the people from the bar.

So that was it...the worst date I've ever been on. Had it been just a lousy date from the git go, no big deal. That happens, hell it's happened to me several times. I've usually forgotten about it by the next day. But to have been played in such a manner....wow. Wowie wow. After going through what I had gone through only a couple of days earlier, let me tell you I felt like I wanted to die and take all of woman kind with me. I was hurt, saddened and truly pissed off. I remember going to work the next day and when I would see a happy couple holding hands or something of the sort, I would almost lose it, I was so pissed off. Why can't I ever have a happy relationship and why must all women treat me like total shit? And they do...oh yes, they do. By no means am I some perfect guy who is God's gift to women. Far from it. But I've always been respectful and decent to women and it's always the same horse shit. Why do I bother? I just don't know. Should I be more like Connery (see below) here? I don't think I could, it's just not me...but this just keeps pissing me off to no end. I'm always the guy left standing alone at the end of the night with a stupid look on his face while she (whoever she is) goes home to fuck some other guy. I'm never that other guy.

Anyways, sent her an angry email when I got home (at like 4:00 in the morning) expressing my joy at being treated the way I did. I actually did get a response (albeit a week later) actually apologizing for her actions, that she hasn't been herself lately, that she thought (wrongly) I wasn't 'into her' and that she thought I was hitting on one of her friends at the Horseshoe. For the record I was not and even if I was no justification for her shitty behaviour. So I guess that's that. Her apology was very weak, but sadly it's more than most give me. So I guess I'll refrain from leaving a flaming bag at her door or creating www.C--------N---sucks.com. But I still want my half bottle of wine back.

Oh AND the girl that I thought I may have had a chance with in one of my classes? I have no chance. What else it new? But it will have to wait for the next entry. I should try and get some reading done and then off to sleep (again).