Saturday, December 30, 2006

My blog sucks

I never update it anymore, seeing as I supposes I just don't care anymore or haven't the energy or something like that. I think I really may be losing interest and that this blog is on its last legs. I've said that before, I know and we're still here. But at the present, I'm really not feeling this anymore. It really is too much of an effort.

Hate Christmas. Don't want to though. I really do pray for the time when I can enjoy it once again, but it just doesn't seem like that time is going to be anytime soon. The one positive is that my bestest buddy D Rock is home from Japan for a couple weeks, so that does compensate for the fact that Christmas is always a mess at my household. My sister, my mother and I (plus the dogs) exchange gifts while my dad sits in another room watching television. Love it, what a great time. Sis and I finally go give him his gifts. He doesn't even make the effort to get us anything. Great guy. Mom makes a nice little brunch. I called my dad three times to come eat and didn't get a response. Lovely. Normally we go to a friend of the family's on the 25th, but she was out of the country this year. So we were left with this mess. If you think your Christmas sucks, please come and spend it at my house. I dare you.

Wednesday night was the long awaited Tweed Blazer: One Night Only (again) concert, of which I was a part. Drove down to Hamilton, with Bertmos and D Rock (Beer came later, there was a mix up regarding the whole thing). Quite an impressive capacity crowd, standing room only. Many of them were there to support the opening act, some dude Warren. But I suspect that Tweed Blazer had just as big a following. Their set went pretty well, I think, lots of fun. I thought I did well with my guest vocals on "Patience" and "Lady in Red", but upon watching the video footage, I've decided never to sing again. Man, I was off-key, it was terrible. Even my OWN MOTHER agreed it wasn't very good. Maybe it was the lack of rehearsal on my part, maybe it was a bad song choice or the fact I couldn't really hear myself sing. Or perhaps, just perhaps, I fucking suck. I'm never watching the tape ever again, it was painful. So bad that I think I'm putting an end to whatever small singing career I had.

Still, it was a good experience overall, the show was fun, even if the after party was a massive bust. I tried flirting with some pretty good-looking girl in a green shirt at the show, though I got nowhere. We had breakfast at Denny's at like 4:00 AM, which was also pretty nice. Have I left anything out? Oh wait, I have. Yes, she was there.

I knew she would be, of course. We've exchanged emails every now and then (with an incident or two in between), but I haven't actually seen her in almost two years. I did include her on my Christmas mailing list this year, seeing as we're at least on friendly terms and she kindly replied. So I didn't think it would be such a big deal to see her after all this time. I mean it would be nothing, a friendly hello, nothing more. Would have no effect on me. I guess I should have known better.

First off, she looked GREAT, though I always thought she did. I guess I might have been a little happier (in a schadenfreude sense) if she got fat or something, but that's not the case. She was very sweet, basically apologizing for various things she's done, saying that she didn't mean to be hurtful. Seemed genuinely happy to see me. Asked me if I was seeing anyone (which I thought to be something of an odd question to ask). We chatted amiably for a little bit during the intermission and after the show. And then *poof*, she was gone, driven home by the dude she's 'sort of' seeing (according to her).

So is that it, is that my coda? "No hard feelings, have a good life", that sort of thing? Or in a couple of days do I drop her an email, saying it was nice to see you again, did you want to hang out sometime? I know what pretty much everyone is going to say. That I should let it go, that no good can come from it. She'll probably say 'no', if even respond at all, if my past experience with her (and other women) tells me anything. I should let go, but I can't. Makes me seem pretty sad, doesn't it? All I have is this pleasant memory to hold onto and some sick, faint hope. But all that is better than nothing, which is what I fear I'd be left with otherwise. Lordy, I wish I hadn't seen her again.

10 Comments:

Blogger Daphne said...

Please don't email her - no matter how much you want to. Even if it's just to say "nice to see you". You can leave it alone and always be content with how you left it. If you email her, it will regret it, she won't write back, and it will start the whole big ordeal of 'why didn't she email me'.

Don't do it.

December 30, 2006 11:39 AM  
Blogger the Colonel said...

First of all, you ROCKED Lady in Red... you pulling that girl out of the crowd was undoubtedly one of the highlights of the night. I want to see this so-called "video footage", cause I don't believe it could possibly be that bad. Also because I am in it.

Secondly, the afterparty busting was hard on all of us. But don't let that, or your performance on tape, or any dealings with HER (which sounded pleasant, and perhaps not a bad way to leave things...) take away from the fun had by all at the show.

Rest assured that if we ever do another request night, I want you up there singing again for sure.

January 01, 2007 6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) The show was good, and you sang fantastically and you pulling the girl on stage was hellsa tight.

2) Don't quit singing, if you do that, you are retarded.

3) Do not attempt a coup d'etat on the guy SHE is seeing. Like I told you, he is one of my best friends, they are definitely Boyfriend and Girlfriend, she just doesn't say so for some stupid reason. Daphne is undoubtedly right, walk away knowing you were the big man and let it alone. Sometimes its just better that way.

January 01, 2007 7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that last post was missing

(heart) Dosi

January 01, 2007 7:02 PM  
Blogger Kid Icarus said...

I don't know guys, I watched the footage of me singing again and it's pretty painful. You guys were good, 'Patience' went okay, but I massacred 'Lady in Red'.

And I think I will write her , if only to say that it was nice to see you and nothing more. I never did wish her goodbye at the show, so I'll do just that. "Good to see you, take care and have a good life". That's all.

January 02, 2007 4:55 PM  
Blogger Daphne said...

DON'T DO IT! Please, PLEASE don't email her. Just leave it. Seriously.

January 02, 2007 5:47 PM  
Blogger Kid Icarus said...

Why, why, why, why, why not? What is the harm in just wishing her well one last time?

January 03, 2007 1:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, use your head, you know that you have some ulterior motives for messaging her or emailing her or whatever... and nothing will come of these motives other than heartbreak. Honestly, I'm telling you this because I know the facts. Sometimes the facts suck, but that doesn't change that they are still the facts. Sorry bro, just let it go, you'll both be better off for it!

(heart) Dosi

January 03, 2007 3:38 AM  
Blogger Kid Icarus said...

I will abide by the suggestions of my wise blog friends, though it pains me very greatly to do so.

January 03, 2007 3:02 PM  
Blogger Daphne said...

I applaud your willpower. Wise decision.

January 03, 2007 8:17 PM  

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