The Pats better win tomorrow or else that might be the final nail in my coffin

Dear Lord, why do I go out? It really only leads to more misery on my part.

Worked all day today and was hoping to get some reading done for an assignment that I have due on Monday. I've had the thing for like four weeks and of course I only start looking at it now. But of course I'm saddled with yet another trainee (someone got let go), so I couldn't really do anything. Would I have anyway? Probably not. But I digress.

I got an invite from a friend I haven't seen since high school (off of that stupid facebook website) to go and meet up with some folks at The Madison, which is a very popular (and very large) pub, right near U of T. It's one of the university hot spots for sure, yet I haven't been there in ages, which is not so surprising seeing as I don't have any 'real' friends at school. I was debating whether or not to go, seeing as I still have lots of work to do. But finally I decide that it might be fun, see some people I haven't seen in a long time and just get out in general. And of course, I made the wrong decision. But would staying home have made me any happier? No, of course not. You see, I've come to the conclusion that every option available to me is wrong and will only lead to unhappiness. I am doomed.

I get there and find out that other than the fellow who invited me (who's certainly a very decent fellow) there were a bunch of people I half-knew and such. Some other people I thought were going to be there never showed up and after spending about an hour and a half there, I left. I also remembered that every other time I've ever been there, I've left equally unhappy. See, it's one of those places where there are always a lot of people on a Saturday night, attractive young people, all with lots of friends, all having lots of fun. Lotsa good looking ladies, but what does that do for me? It only makes me more miserable. What good does seeing them do. None of them want to talk to me.

A wise friend of mine took a look at my facebook list and questioned why I'm so unhappy as to not being able to find a girl, despite the fact that there are many attractive ones on my 'friend list'. The problem with that of course, is that just because they're aware that I'm alive, doesn't mean that they want to go out with me. In fact, I can probably go over each and every one of them and give a very valid reason as to why they don't.

So here I stand. I stay home, I'm unhappy. I go out, I'm probably even more unhappy, if that's possible. Driving home, I just wanted to crack open a bottle of wine and find solace in that. But now I don't even want to. I don't think even that would make me happy.

All this and I have an essay to research and write tomorrow. I wish I was dead.