Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Why I hate conservatives

Yes, you read that correctly. I guess I should amend that by specifying a specific type of conservative, one that you should easily be able to identify by the time you're done reading everything in italics.

So I'm attending my cousin's wedding this Saturday, the first wedding I'll be going to since I made was a hilarious mess at my pal Everett's a few years back. It's actually my cousin's son's wedding to be accurate. My cousin (on my mother's side) is only twelve years younger than my mom and his oldest is only four years younger than I am. That does depress me a little but I won't focus on that right now. Anyhow my mum thought of something last minute that we had neglected and that was to inquire in regards to the menu. Here is her email to my aunt (the grandmother of the groom):

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Hi R____,

My apologies for not thinking of this sooner; any idea of the dinner menu at the wedding? Both of my kids are vegetarians (ed. my sister eats fish, I do not) and I was wondering if there'll be something suitable for them? They do eat fish. I hope you don't find this to be a rude request.

L____


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Here is the actual response my mother received which she then forwarded to me and my sister.

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L____,

I can’t believe they are vegetarians. My understanding is you can’t get the complete protein from being a vegetarian. I know beans provide real good protein. How did this happen? Was it Z____ (ed. my uncle on my dad's side, who is also a vegetarian)?
My dad tried being a vegetarian years ago. It doesn’t seem right, not to enjoy cabbage rolls, etc. That is a shock. I would have felt better if you told me they were teetollarers.
It’s a whole new way of “thinking”. Even Jesus ate lamb.


Anyways, good news, no sit down dinner, no speeches, you eat all night, so I’m sure they will find something to eat.

The place is pretty high class when it comes to food. They are top of the line caterers. They even own areal classy restaurant in O______ so I experienced this kind of eating all night thing.

That is different too.

See you Sat.

Love R______.

****************************************************************************

I didn't know what to think, other than the fact that this has to be among the most ignorant people in the entire world. Yes, I am referring to my own aunt. When my read the email I said to my mother "well this must mean that we're also homosexual pedophiles who love abortion and spitting on the flag, have converted to Islam and think that all Canadian troops are war criminals. The funny thing is that my sister said pretty much the exact same thing to my mother when she read the thing! Also very amusing is that my sister and I are politically very different with her being an NDP voting, PETA member, pro-gay marriage, pro-Palestine etc. whereas you all know that I'm a very strong conservative who also happens to be a vegetarian pretty much because the thought of eating charred animal flesh really doesn't appeal to him.

But I do know that I'm also not an ignorant, closed minded jackass. As you can probably tell I have very little use for Christian conservatives other than the fact that they are crucial in helping keep social conservatism alive in this country and the United States. But that's strictly off the record. We need them, after all.

Still the whole thing really did piss me off and I hope it doesn't come up on Saturday. I might not be able to bite my tongue. I remember once I was at this (not very good) Chinese restaurant where the waiter thought it was cute to poke fun of me for being a vegetarian and were it not for being with friends, I would have walked out then and there. And I think from now on when someone asks my "Oh, why are you a vegetarian" instead of going into a long answer I may just be tempted to say "None of your fucking business". Why are you a Jew? Why do you have those highlights in your hair? Why are you dressed like that? You get the point.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, an anti-conservative rant. I NEVER thought I'd see that here! You're right though, despite your rampant conservative leanings you're at least knowledgeable about the things you're against.

Furthermore, you and I have been friends for years and you've never once chastized me for my aggresive pro-meat stance. Now, I always assumed that was because you couldn't muster up the energy to argue because of the lack of protein in your diet, but clearly you're just a lot more tolerant than people think.

(heart) Coop

July 30, 2008 9:25 AM  
Blogger Beer said...

That's some ignorant shit. You should remind them that oxen and horses eat nothing but vegatables, yet we trust them to be strong enough.

But you know, Jesus ate lamb.

July 30, 2008 10:12 AM  
Blogger Natmac said...

Best part of the email:

How did this happen? Was it Z_____?

Like you got brainwashed into it.

July 31, 2008 10:29 AM  
Blogger Daphne said...

Nice argument, Beer! Love it.

Ya, that's a pain in the ass. I can't believe she'd say that to your mom. Even if she doesn't 'agree' with vegetarianism (which is ridiculous, but whatever) that was really ignorant.

July 31, 2008 10:40 AM  
Blogger Kid Icarus said...

I've never said anything to people who eat meat because it's none of my business. If they like eating charred animal flesh (a concept that doesn't appeal to me) that's their prerogative. At the same time, don't ask me why I choose NOT to eat meat. Why does that matter?

Again, I have little use for crazy PETA nut-cases. I love animals and don't care to see them suffer in the slightest, but at the same time I'm realistic enough to know that people have been carnivores for eons and being liberal dicks is probably the WORST possible way to change their minds (see, I still bash liberals!)

And I think you're right Natmac. That probably was the best part of the email. I found the notion that the ONE other vegetarian she knows MUST have somehow been responsible for warping us.

July 31, 2008 11:51 PM  
Blogger Daphne said...

How was the wedding? Was there enough food to eat for you non-meat eaters?

More importantly, did you tell your aunt off?

August 04, 2008 9:28 PM  
Blogger Kid Icarus said...

The wedding was very lovely, though I did not have a good time in the slightest.

The food situation wasn't so great, though I was so ill that I barely able to eat what was available.

And I did sort of tell my aunt off, albeit in the nicest way possible.

If I ever get around to blogging again, I'll try to expand upon all of this.

August 08, 2008 9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn... way to make me cry man... (not that thats helping in anyway)

December 20, 2009 2:15 AM  

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