This is why I hate my life
So I was sitting at work all day Saturday (9:30-6), barely able to stay awake as usual. At one point I was even considering closing the shop up and lying down to take a nap. But then someone came in and the caffeine kicked in somewhat, so I decided against it. It was (finally) a lovely day outside, not like I’d have really taken advantage of it though. I really should be studying for an exam I have on Monday and though I brought my books, I barely got any reading done. I can't focus, what a shock that is. Another exam I had ample time to prepare for and yet I'll be doing all my studying Sunday night.
Saw many, MANY very attractive ladies walking by, wearing less clothing than they were a week ago. Nice to look at but what good does any of it do me? None of them come in here and even if they did, what am I supposed to do? Went outside for a cigarette. Some dude sees me and says "Hey, Mike". I don't recognize him. He comes closer and realizes he mistook me for someone else, albeit with the same name. He then offers me a hit from the joint (!!) he's smoking and I politely decline. I thought that was amusing.
So my father calls around 2:00 PM and asks me if I'm going out tonight. I tell him I'm not sure, I might be (which is a lie) and ask him what's up. He asks me if I want to go out for sushi and I tell him I'm waiting for someone to get back to me regarding something (also a lie). Love sushi, love free sushi even more. But going out to dinner with my father nullifies both of those things. So I call the three people who might potentially bail me out of this predicament. Call Marty Boy. He's busy with his lady friend, strike one. Call Beer, get the machine. Leave a message, but he's probably out and will certainly not get it in time. Strike two. Am about to call my friend Blondie when I remember she's in Montreal for the next week. Strike three. So that's it. I'm now stuck. I have no option but to spend my Saturday night with my father making awkward conversation, sitting in silence half the time no doubt and scarfing down my sushi as bloody quickly as possible just to get the living hell out of there.
I have other people in my phone directory, plenty more. But any that I feel comfortable calling? Nope, those three are it. This is what it's like being me. So to the rest of you, hope y’all enjoyed your Saturday night, had (or are having) fun and all that. Have a lovely rest of the weekend as well. As for me, as soon as I got home from my dreadfully awkward (though admittedly tasty) dinner, it's codeine water and alcohol time. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I'm going to get any studying done. Mixed up some horrid homemade margaritas, have now switched to beer and am currently waiting for the codeine water to finish filtering. While I was at the liquor store buying beer and tequila, saw more attractive girls. Buying booze with their boyfriends. The same boyfriends they’ll be banging tonight. Me? If I’m lucky there’ll be a good porno on TMN. But I’ll likely have passed out before then. Maybe I’ll take advantage of my nice flat screen TV and watch a real movie. We’ll see. Is it any wonder I wake up every morning and wish I was dead?
Saw many, MANY very attractive ladies walking by, wearing less clothing than they were a week ago. Nice to look at but what good does any of it do me? None of them come in here and even if they did, what am I supposed to do? Went outside for a cigarette. Some dude sees me and says "Hey, Mike". I don't recognize him. He comes closer and realizes he mistook me for someone else, albeit with the same name. He then offers me a hit from the joint (!!) he's smoking and I politely decline. I thought that was amusing.
So my father calls around 2:00 PM and asks me if I'm going out tonight. I tell him I'm not sure, I might be (which is a lie) and ask him what's up. He asks me if I want to go out for sushi and I tell him I'm waiting for someone to get back to me regarding something (also a lie). Love sushi, love free sushi even more. But going out to dinner with my father nullifies both of those things. So I call the three people who might potentially bail me out of this predicament. Call Marty Boy. He's busy with his lady friend, strike one. Call Beer, get the machine. Leave a message, but he's probably out and will certainly not get it in time. Strike two. Am about to call my friend Blondie when I remember she's in Montreal for the next week. Strike three. So that's it. I'm now stuck. I have no option but to spend my Saturday night with my father making awkward conversation, sitting in silence half the time no doubt and scarfing down my sushi as bloody quickly as possible just to get the living hell out of there.
I have other people in my phone directory, plenty more. But any that I feel comfortable calling? Nope, those three are it. This is what it's like being me. So to the rest of you, hope y’all enjoyed your Saturday night, had (or are having) fun and all that. Have a lovely rest of the weekend as well. As for me, as soon as I got home from my dreadfully awkward (though admittedly tasty) dinner, it's codeine water and alcohol time. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I'm going to get any studying done. Mixed up some horrid homemade margaritas, have now switched to beer and am currently waiting for the codeine water to finish filtering. While I was at the liquor store buying beer and tequila, saw more attractive girls. Buying booze with their boyfriends. The same boyfriends they’ll be banging tonight. Me? If I’m lucky there’ll be a good porno on TMN. But I’ll likely have passed out before then. Maybe I’ll take advantage of my nice flat screen TV and watch a real movie. We’ll see. Is it any wonder I wake up every morning and wish I was dead?
posted by King Hippo at 11:14 PM
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