Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)
I have very little exciting to report on this Friday night. This Friday night on which I am (once again) sitting at home alone, drinking a rather nice bottle of French Pinot Noir. I watched Jeopardy!, then flipped between Young Frankenstein on AMC and the Blue Jays game. Great to see Reed Johnson back by the way after a long layoff, he's definitely one of the most important members of the team.
I worked today. Wasn't so bad. Went grocery shopping. Got all the ingredients to make my own burritos. Very sad that when I do make them, it'll be the highlight of my day (and week no doubt). Also bought a bag of potatoes in order to make potato salad. You see, I've actually decided to go to the work barbecue / party /get-together / whatever tomorrow. Someone is having a party at their house. She's invited everyone from work. It's a potluck dealie. She has a pool. I can't think of any other crucial details.
I'm not sure why I'm actually going. It's very nice of this person to host a staff get together, but it's not like anyone really cares if I actually attend or not. And the very prospect of going terrifies me. I just know that I'm going to have an awful time. Since when do I have a good time anywhere? I can already visualize it. Me sitting in a corner somewhere alone, drink in my hand, too depressed to even move. What a blast. And cute girl from paint department doesn't seem to be coming. I didn't see her name on the sign up sheet. How sad that I checked for that. At any rate, it's probably for the best. It would only make me more upset.
Sandra (my car) isn't doing any better. The brake noises sounded even worse than ever today, though maybe that was just my imagination. At any rate, it doesn't sound good. I do need a new car. Something else that needs to be done. I have to look around, go to places, check out different vehicles, talk to salespeople, decide on a particular car within a particular budget, either do a lease or arrange financing, call my insurance company, etc. The prospect of doing all of this shit also scares the living hell out of me and it's just mundane busywork. I really don't know how people do it. Even thinking about it almost makes me want to go out to the tool shed and hang myself. Okay, I don't have a tool shed but sometimes I like to pretend that I do.
I worked today. Wasn't so bad. Went grocery shopping. Got all the ingredients to make my own burritos. Very sad that when I do make them, it'll be the highlight of my day (and week no doubt). Also bought a bag of potatoes in order to make potato salad. You see, I've actually decided to go to the work barbecue / party /get-together / whatever tomorrow. Someone is having a party at their house. She's invited everyone from work. It's a potluck dealie. She has a pool. I can't think of any other crucial details.
I'm not sure why I'm actually going. It's very nice of this person to host a staff get together, but it's not like anyone really cares if I actually attend or not. And the very prospect of going terrifies me. I just know that I'm going to have an awful time. Since when do I have a good time anywhere? I can already visualize it. Me sitting in a corner somewhere alone, drink in my hand, too depressed to even move. What a blast. And cute girl from paint department doesn't seem to be coming. I didn't see her name on the sign up sheet. How sad that I checked for that. At any rate, it's probably for the best. It would only make me more upset.
Sandra (my car) isn't doing any better. The brake noises sounded even worse than ever today, though maybe that was just my imagination. At any rate, it doesn't sound good. I do need a new car. Something else that needs to be done. I have to look around, go to places, check out different vehicles, talk to salespeople, decide on a particular car within a particular budget, either do a lease or arrange financing, call my insurance company, etc. The prospect of doing all of this shit also scares the living hell out of me and it's just mundane busywork. I really don't know how people do it. Even thinking about it almost makes me want to go out to the tool shed and hang myself. Okay, I don't have a tool shed but sometimes I like to pretend that I do.
posted by King Hippo at 11:19 PM
2 Comments:
Dude, going to work functions may seem frightening to you, but it is one of the best ways to make new friends, which never hurts. You've got plenty to say, so just strike up a conversation with a few people - you manage to hold up small talk with me, I'm sure you can pull through with some strangers. You need to try and sort out this crippling fear of society you have, because its a self-perpetuating problem. If you lack confidence, people perceive your discomfort and it also makes them uncomfortable and then it makes you even more uncomfortable, and so on.
Trust me, people will like you when you talk to them (just try and avoid the political shit!), just make the effort. I used to be much more shy and withdrawn in mixed company than I am now; I really didn't think I had anything interesting to say or anyone would want to talk to me. These days, I still probably don't have anything interesting to say, but I just don't really worry about what some random stranger is going to think of me. If they like me, good for them, they have impeccable taste, and if not, no big loss. People really aren't as judgmental as you imagine, as most everyone spends way more of their energy being self-conscious rather than being conscious of others' faults.
Sorry about the car. I find the best way to deal with all the red tape and nonsense is to have a buddy to go around with you to look at cars and help you make your decision. I'm telling you, try the Saturn dealership - what you see is what you get there, and they don't really haggle on price there so you can't really get ripped off.
I also enjoy the work functions. They usually lead to some hilarity as a company person gets drunk for the amusement of all. I'd recommend it not be you just yet.
Also, when talking to people randomly, I agree with andrea, just don't give a shit. People often mistake "not caring" for "confidence" and once you are able to get past that stupid little awkward phase that lasts like 30 seconds, you're soaring.
If you care too much, people will notice this, but if you don't care, you'd be amazed at some of the fun conversations you can strike up.
(heart) Dosi
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